More research that my husband and I are learning about are the children with special needs.
Here is an article from Adoption.com: Introduction to adopting & parenting children with special needs (from the perspective of a parent in a domestic special needs adoption) I am an adopting parent. I wish to open my home and my heart to a sibling group that needs me, siblings who want more brothers and sisters, namely the kids who are already here. I don't want to do this alone. This is what I need from the other stakeholders, from my village (if you'll excuse my calling on an oft-used metaphor).
From the adoption agency: I need support in the form of some encouragement and enthusiasm when I call to request an application packet. I know you are busy, probably too busy, and underpaid to boot, but if you treat me as though I am a burden to you, I may feel unwanted and drop the whole idea. Please understand that my first contact with you is critical. If I am truly one of America's greatest natural resources, please treat me as good as gold.
From my extended family and friends and co-workers: I need a slap on the back. Guess what, I'm not crazy. And I'm certainly no saint. This decision has not been made lightly so please don't assume I have not thought it through. I don't need your approval, but I would like to have it. I'd never tell you how many kids to have, so I hope you won't tell me. What I need from you is a big hug and a hearty "Congratulations!" You see, I'm emotionally pregnant right now. And expectant mothers need TLC.
After the Homestudy
Once the home study is finished and the match is made, I need 100% full disclosure from the agency. I need to know everything about the children that there is to know, to be the most effective parent I can be. And please give me full disclosure on the adoption benefits, non-recurring expenses reimbursement, subsidy, services, medical extras, and the rest. I need to know what is out there so I can advocate for my children. My love for my family is boundless, but my financial resources are very limited.
From my adoptive parent support group: I need you to be there long term. Every year, I will need something different from you. At first, mostly information, later, for social support and activities. And always, my children and I will need the warmth of friendship from other adoptive families.
From the administrative hearing officers and the Regional Children's Bureau: I need help advocating financially for my children when negotiations with state administrators break down. AAP contracts are complex instruments and the federal law is relatively young. Adoptive parents like me desperately need help when the process stalls. Please listen to me, be fair, and know that you may be my children's best chance to access adequate financial assistance and services.
From my attorney: I need expert legal assistance to finalize my adoption at the lowest possible cost. Please don't charge me $2,000 just because you know that my adoption expenses can be reimbursed to that amount. After all, there are other costs, too, even with public agency adoptions, such as visitation costs.
From my child's former foster parents: I need a blessing. Please give my children permission to love me and to be part of my family as they leave yours. Tell me the whole truth about them, help me prepare and then be there for them as they adjust. They will miss you. Remember that you will always be a part of our family.
After Placement
From my child's school: I need you to know when it is important that my child is adopted and when it isn't. It is important when her concentration lags or behaviors flare up due to his history of child abuse and neglect. It is not important on the playground when my child is trying to fit in. I need you to respect my role as the expert on my child's needs. I need you to listen to me when I ask for educational accommodations. Adopted children with special needs have special needs.
From my family doctor, pharmacist and therapist: I need you to be a bigger part of my village than you might be used to. I will need extra paperwork from you for adoption assistance negotiations, I may need more medical care for my children than is typical, from day one on. I need all the access to you that you can reasonably give me.
From my neighbors: I need your friendly smile and a little patience. My daughter has trouble with boundaries. Please forgive her for pulling the petals off the big rose on your rosebush. She knows now she shouldn't play "he loves me, he loves me not" with your flowers. Please look the other way when my impulsive son urinates in the backyard after a snowstorm. He doesn't understand that this is not the best way to perfect his name-writing skills. I'm teaching, they are learning, but it is slow going sometimes. Please be role models of neighborliness because my children began life in dangerous places and will learn how to be neighbors by watching you.
From my children's other set of parents, their birth parents: I need your acceptance and your prayers. While you get your life together, hopefully overcoming the big problems that resulted in the termination of parental rights, I am raising our children. If possible, send a letter and some photos occasionally to the agency. When the children are ready and want to meet you again, when it is safe, please be there for them. After the reunion, don't call me a glorified babysitter. Our children have two sets of parents - for always - please accept and respect my role in our children's lives as I accept and respect yours.
From society, the people at the grocery store, the guy who fixes my car: I need a little privacy and sensitivity. My different race children may not wish to explain to you, virtual strangers, why their birth parents are not raising them. If you want to know more about adoption, call an agency, read a book, or call me later. My kids are more comfortable this way.
From the residential treatment facility, the police and the juvenile court judges: I need you to understand that I am not the one who created the rage in my teen-agers. I have been a good parent. Please acknowledge this and don't blame me for their shoplifting and running away and vandalism. Instead, help me help them. Don't coddle them, but understand what they are working through. The teen years are especially tough on kids who have been through hell, who have lost everything, who struggle with feelings of loss only adoptees know.
The Forgotten Miracle
But have a little faith. They'll grow up and many of the seeds that all of us planted will germinate and grow and bloom and their kids, my grandkids, won't need you as much as I have needed all of you. Because the vicious cycle of pain will have been broken. For good.
That's the forgotten miracle of adoption. It breaks the cycle of dysfunction, stops it dead in its tracks, or at least, slows it down a little.
I know this because my sibling group, the ones who spent time in mental hospitals and residential treatment facilities, and yes, jail, are doing better every year. One went to college for a while and is a wonderful mother, and the other earned his GED against all odds and is holding down a job. We enjoy each other a great deal again, now that they are all grown up, but it took time. And blood, sweat and tears. And my wonderful village.
God bless you for staying the course with me. I thank you and my grandchildren thank you, and someday my great-grandchildren will thank you.
~ Rita Laws, Ph.D.
Source:
http://special-needs.adoption.com/
Monday, August 31, 2009
Semi-open Adoption
More research that my husband and I are learning about are the semi-open adoptions.
Here is an article from Adoption.com:
Semi-open adoption is the practice in which information, generally non-identifying information, is shared between adopting parents and placing parents. Usually semi-open adoption consists of the exchange of letters, photos and possibly emails, either directly or through an agency or third party. Often, adopting parents will set up a post office box which letters, cards and photos can be sent and received. Unlike closed adoption, it is more common for placing parents to choose the adopting family for their child prior to birth. It is also not unheard of to have some pre-birth face-to-face meetings or for the placing and adopting families to spend time together at the hospital during and after the birth.
Semi-open adoption doesn't usually involve any post-placement face-to-face visitation. The children involved don't normally have any direct communication with their biological parents. Like closed adoption, once a child reaches the age of majority in their state, they have the option of searching for or being searched for by their biological family. However, unlike closed adoption, those involved in a semi-open adoption usually have access to some basic information which can assist in the search process.
As adoption has evolved over the course of the last decade, adoption practitioners are finding more and more semi-open adoption arrangements in situations that routinely would have been closed, such as international and foster care adoptions.
Source:
http://semi-open.adoption.com/
Here is an article from Adoption.com:
Semi-open adoption is the practice in which information, generally non-identifying information, is shared between adopting parents and placing parents. Usually semi-open adoption consists of the exchange of letters, photos and possibly emails, either directly or through an agency or third party. Often, adopting parents will set up a post office box which letters, cards and photos can be sent and received. Unlike closed adoption, it is more common for placing parents to choose the adopting family for their child prior to birth. It is also not unheard of to have some pre-birth face-to-face meetings or for the placing and adopting families to spend time together at the hospital during and after the birth.
Semi-open adoption doesn't usually involve any post-placement face-to-face visitation. The children involved don't normally have any direct communication with their biological parents. Like closed adoption, once a child reaches the age of majority in their state, they have the option of searching for or being searched for by their biological family. However, unlike closed adoption, those involved in a semi-open adoption usually have access to some basic information which can assist in the search process.
As adoption has evolved over the course of the last decade, adoption practitioners are finding more and more semi-open adoption arrangements in situations that routinely would have been closed, such as international and foster care adoptions.
Source:
http://semi-open.adoption.com/
Independent Adoptions
More research that my husband and I are learning about are the independent adoptions.
Here is an article from Adoption.com:
Independent adoptions
Are identified or designated adoptions where prospective adopting and prospective placing parents have located each other themselves (allowed in most States, and some agencies will assist with these placements); using attorneys or other intermediaries defined by State law; using adoption facilitators (allowed in only a few states and some foreign countries); doing the work yourself (permitted for some international adoptions) with the aid of in-country assistance.
Since adoption laws in the state where you live govern your options, it is essential that you know what types of placements are allowed or not allowed by your state’s laws. If you pursue an adoption across state lines, you must comply with the laws in both states before the child can join your family. States have enacted legislation that governs how children can be placed across State lines (Interstate Compacts).
For international adoptions, your state laws, laws and regulations of the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Service (USCIS, formerly INS), the U.S. State Department, and the laws of the specific country will apply.
In weighing your options, you should evaluate your ability to tolerate risk.
Of the options outlined above:
agency adoptions provide the greatest assurance of monitoring and oversight since agencies are required to adhere to licensing and procedural standards;
independent adoptions by attorneys at least provide assurance that attorneys must adhere to the standards of the Bar Association and some attorneys who specialize in adoption are members of the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys, a professional membership organization with standards of ethical practice;
adoptive placements by facilitators offer the least amount of supervision and oversight. This does not mean that there are not ethical professionals with good standards of practice; it simply means there are few or no oversight mechanisms in place at this time.
In addition to risk factors above, other considerations in selecting the type of adoption you pursue can include:
>>> costs
>>> country restrictions (international adoptions)
>>> open adoptions
>>> child health
>>> your age, marital status, sexual orientation, etc.
and others.
Source:
http://adopting.adoption.com/child/what-are-the-different-types-of-adoption.html
Here is an article from Adoption.com:
Independent adoptions
Are identified or designated adoptions where prospective adopting and prospective placing parents have located each other themselves (allowed in most States, and some agencies will assist with these placements); using attorneys or other intermediaries defined by State law; using adoption facilitators (allowed in only a few states and some foreign countries); doing the work yourself (permitted for some international adoptions) with the aid of in-country assistance.
Since adoption laws in the state where you live govern your options, it is essential that you know what types of placements are allowed or not allowed by your state’s laws. If you pursue an adoption across state lines, you must comply with the laws in both states before the child can join your family. States have enacted legislation that governs how children can be placed across State lines (Interstate Compacts).
For international adoptions, your state laws, laws and regulations of the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Service (USCIS, formerly INS), the U.S. State Department, and the laws of the specific country will apply.
In weighing your options, you should evaluate your ability to tolerate risk.
Of the options outlined above:
agency adoptions provide the greatest assurance of monitoring and oversight since agencies are required to adhere to licensing and procedural standards;
independent adoptions by attorneys at least provide assurance that attorneys must adhere to the standards of the Bar Association and some attorneys who specialize in adoption are members of the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys, a professional membership organization with standards of ethical practice;
adoptive placements by facilitators offer the least amount of supervision and oversight. This does not mean that there are not ethical professionals with good standards of practice; it simply means there are few or no oversight mechanisms in place at this time.
In addition to risk factors above, other considerations in selecting the type of adoption you pursue can include:
>>> costs
>>> country restrictions (international adoptions)
>>> open adoptions
>>> child health
>>> your age, marital status, sexual orientation, etc.
and others.
Source:
http://adopting.adoption.com/child/what-are-the-different-types-of-adoption.html
Foster care Adoption v.s. Agency Adoption
My husband and I have been comparing and contrasting foster care & agency adoptions.
We complied our research to post on our blog.
1. Foster Care Adoption
Foster care adoption involves the adoption of children who are living in the U.S. foster care system. These adoptions are usually handled through local and regional public agencies; however some States contract with licensed private agencies to recruit, train, conduct home studies and license adoptive parents for these children. In some States prospective parents will be dually licensed as both foster and an adoptive parents.
While most children who are adopted from foster care are adopted by their foster parents and other children are adopted by their relatives, nationwide there are still many thousands of children in the U.S. foster care system waiting for permanent families (See the Trends in Foster Care Adoption from the Adoption and Foster Care Analysis and Reporting System on the Children's Bureau website for the most recent years' numbers of children waiting: http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb/stats_research/afcars/trends.htm. Child welfare professionals must recruit potential adoptive families for these children who are waiting for adoption.
Source: http://www.childwelfare.gov/adoption/foster/
http://books.google.com/books?id=QZ09AAAAIAAJ&pg=PA40&dq=adoption+and+foster+care#v=onepage&q=&f=false
2. Adoption through Adoption Agencies
There are two basic types of adoption agencies: public and private.
Public agencies are usually supported by public funding, are run by counties or states, and generally assist in the adoption of children in the foster care system.
Private agencies are usually licensed by the state but run privately and can assist in most types of adoption.
Adoption agencies often provide more support services than in a private adoption, such as pre-adoption education, counseling, homestudies, and post-adoption services and/or referrals. An agency usually does all of the "finding" of possible adoption opportunities for you. With increased services, costs are often higher than a private adoption.
Agency adoptions through the local public agency (also known as foster care, child welfare, social services); through licensed private agencies (permissible in most states and many foreign countries).
Agency adoptions can involve a wide range of adoptable children, depending on the focus of the agency. Some agencies specialize in the placement of international children, bi-racial children, special needs children, or children of a particular ethnic group. Other agencies may be involved entirely in adoptions involving infants. Some adoption agencies are selective in the type of adoptive couples with whom they will work.
Source:
http://adopting.adoption.com/child/agency-adoption.html
We complied our research to post on our blog.
1. Foster Care Adoption
Foster care adoption involves the adoption of children who are living in the U.S. foster care system. These adoptions are usually handled through local and regional public agencies; however some States contract with licensed private agencies to recruit, train, conduct home studies and license adoptive parents for these children. In some States prospective parents will be dually licensed as both foster and an adoptive parents.
While most children who are adopted from foster care are adopted by their foster parents and other children are adopted by their relatives, nationwide there are still many thousands of children in the U.S. foster care system waiting for permanent families (See the Trends in Foster Care Adoption from the Adoption and Foster Care Analysis and Reporting System on the Children's Bureau website for the most recent years' numbers of children waiting: http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb/stats_research/afcars/trends.htm. Child welfare professionals must recruit potential adoptive families for these children who are waiting for adoption.
Source: http://www.childwelfare.gov/adoption/foster/
http://books.google.com/books?id=QZ09AAAAIAAJ&pg=PA40&dq=adoption+and+foster+care#v=onepage&q=&f=false
2. Adoption through Adoption Agencies
There are two basic types of adoption agencies: public and private.
Public agencies are usually supported by public funding, are run by counties or states, and generally assist in the adoption of children in the foster care system.
Private agencies are usually licensed by the state but run privately and can assist in most types of adoption.
Adoption agencies often provide more support services than in a private adoption, such as pre-adoption education, counseling, homestudies, and post-adoption services and/or referrals. An agency usually does all of the "finding" of possible adoption opportunities for you. With increased services, costs are often higher than a private adoption.
Agency adoptions through the local public agency (also known as foster care, child welfare, social services); through licensed private agencies (permissible in most states and many foreign countries).
Agency adoptions can involve a wide range of adoptable children, depending on the focus of the agency. Some agencies specialize in the placement of international children, bi-racial children, special needs children, or children of a particular ethnic group. Other agencies may be involved entirely in adoptions involving infants. Some adoption agencies are selective in the type of adoptive couples with whom they will work.
Source:
http://adopting.adoption.com/child/agency-adoption.html
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Our Final Decision
We have decided to wait one year to begin the adoption application process for DHS. We are going to research more options about adoption, children with special needs, and
bi-racial, and African American children adoptions. We need to understand open adoptions and how they will benefit the child, and how they will affect my husband and I. In a way, we both agreed that with this economy and the way things are going...we should wait, save our money, complete our studies, wait until we both have better jobs, and we are more financially secure. I am still looking for employment since I did not get the job I interviewed for and I was so hurt and heartbroken, so sad, but I know God has something better for me and I shall not be moved. I will look unto the hills from whence my help comes. God is my rock, my shelter, and I will continue to put him 1st!
We know we do not have to be rich, but we want to support a child without government assistance( but if they offer it, we will not say no!) :-)
We both need to take the advice of our families, friends, and our new friends from Adoption Voices. We need to read Adoption books, we need to investigate, research, and then compile our information. We need to be one, a team and decide when, where, and how. We were so excited about the possibilities, that we never thought about what could go wrong, or what if this does not happen the way we want it, or what if the child we are looking for is not the child we receive??? We have so many preconceived notions and we need to really sit down and learn from each other, what do we expect as parents???? How will we discipline??? What will we do for childcare??? Date nights??? Family time??? Who will godparent if something God forbid happened to us???
We have never thought about these questions and I know he has children, but their mother will care for them, but what about the child he and I will adopt? What about our families??/ Will they be willing to accept this child who is not their biological relative? We need to be more logical and rational!
We are working on this new process so please bear with us because our blog will shift into a new direction, it will shift to what we are learning and how we truly feel about what we are learning, different parenting styles we might want to learn, and parenting seminars we have attended.
Please be in prayer for us!!! :-)
Blessed Hannah
bi-racial, and African American children adoptions. We need to understand open adoptions and how they will benefit the child, and how they will affect my husband and I. In a way, we both agreed that with this economy and the way things are going...we should wait, save our money, complete our studies, wait until we both have better jobs, and we are more financially secure. I am still looking for employment since I did not get the job I interviewed for and I was so hurt and heartbroken, so sad, but I know God has something better for me and I shall not be moved. I will look unto the hills from whence my help comes. God is my rock, my shelter, and I will continue to put him 1st!
We know we do not have to be rich, but we want to support a child without government assistance( but if they offer it, we will not say no!) :-)
We both need to take the advice of our families, friends, and our new friends from Adoption Voices. We need to read Adoption books, we need to investigate, research, and then compile our information. We need to be one, a team and decide when, where, and how. We were so excited about the possibilities, that we never thought about what could go wrong, or what if this does not happen the way we want it, or what if the child we are looking for is not the child we receive??? We have so many preconceived notions and we need to really sit down and learn from each other, what do we expect as parents???? How will we discipline??? What will we do for childcare??? Date nights??? Family time??? Who will godparent if something God forbid happened to us???
We have never thought about these questions and I know he has children, but their mother will care for them, but what about the child he and I will adopt? What about our families??/ Will they be willing to accept this child who is not their biological relative? We need to be more logical and rational!
We are working on this new process so please bear with us because our blog will shift into a new direction, it will shift to what we are learning and how we truly feel about what we are learning, different parenting styles we might want to learn, and parenting seminars we have attended.
Please be in prayer for us!!! :-)
Blessed Hannah
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Poems about adoption
I found some poem about the website that I have mentioned at the bottom of this post listed under sources. These poems are very moving, touching, and it shows that love of a parent is not about flesh and blood, or blood being thicker than water... it is about having room in your heart to accept, be responsible, nurture, and love a child regardless of he or she not being your own flesh and blood.
_______________________________________________________________________
The Poetry...
They told me I could not conceive, and tests showed they were right;
They considered but the physical, forgetting our Father's Might.
True, my child, I did not conceive you within the limites of my womb,
But still you grew within my heart- a heart with boundless room.
They told me I could not conceive, and in on way they were right.
Now I know they are the barren ones, comprehension out of sight
For they cannot conceieve, my son, of how it feels to see
The face of a child, not of my flesh, but of my destiny
They cannot conceieve, my child, of what it means to love.
Another woman, another man, who prayed to God above
And then decided to love enough, to give to me their son.
To love, and raise, and call my own, until my life is done.
They cannot conceieve, dear one, of bonds beyond the ties.
Of if you have your daddy's nose or if you have my eyes
They cannot conceive, my child, of all the Lord still has in store.
For this family he created, not of my flesh and bone, but more.
They told me I could not conceive, and in part their words were true.....
For I cannot conceive, dear son, of never loving you.
~~Valerie Kay Gwin
__________________________________________________________________
You came into our lives
when you thought all was lost
A becon of hope
in a world full of frost
From the very first smile
you held our hearts
A wish I had made
to never tear us apart.
A family we are
now that is true
All the joy in the world
because of you.
Never again
will you be left alone
For here with us
We are your home.
By Danielle Good
__________________________________________
A Single Starfish
By Loren Eiseley
One day an old man was walking along the beach. It was low tide, and the sand was littered with thousands of stranded starfish that the water had carried in and then left behind. The man began walking very carefully so as not to step on any of the beautiful creatures. Since the animals still seemed to be alive, he considered picking some of them up and putting them back in the water, where they could resume their lives.
The man knew the starfish would die if left on the beach's dry sand but he reasoned that he could not possibly help them all, so he chose to do nothing and continued walking.
Soon afterward, the man came upon a small child on the beach who was frantically throwing one starfish after another back into the sea. The old man stopped and asked the child, "What are you doing?"
"I'm saving the starfish," the child replied.
"Why waste your time?... There are so many you can't save them all so what does is matter?" argued the man.
Without hesitation, the child picked up another starfish and tossed the starfish back into the water... "It matters to this one," the child explained.
__________________________________________________________________________
A Child Like Me?
With saddened eyes and head bent low,
It's damaged goods most see.
Whith my unclear past and broken heart,
Who would want a child like me?
I watch her walk into the room.
From a distance I can see.
But dare I take a closer step?
Who would want a child like me?
And then I see her look my way.
She smiles so tenderly.
But do I even dare to dream,
She would want a child like me?
And then, as if I spoke out loud,
She approaches cautionsly.
I try so hard to once believe,
She will want a child like me.
But dare I once let down my gaurd,
And trust that she will see,
Hiding beneath this old stained shirt,
Is a beautiful child like me?
My smile, they say, lights up a room.
I'll be good as good can be.
Oh, please, dear God, let her want
A special child like me.
I feel her hand reach out for mine,
And within her eyes I see,
A single, tiny, shining tear.
Could she want a child like me?
And when she takes me in her arms,
With a warmth so pure and new,
She says the words I've prayed to hear,
"The child I want is you"
~Lisa J Schlitt
________________________________________________________________________
Not Flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone, But still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute, you didn't grow beneath my heart, but in it.
~Anonymous
________________________________________________________________________________
Source:
CafeMom
Sep 13, 2008
http://www.cafemom.com/group/3104/forums/read/5631262/Does_anybody_have_poems_or_quotes_about_foster_care
_______________________________________________________________________
The Poetry...
They told me I could not conceive, and tests showed they were right;
They considered but the physical, forgetting our Father's Might.
True, my child, I did not conceive you within the limites of my womb,
But still you grew within my heart- a heart with boundless room.
They told me I could not conceive, and in on way they were right.
Now I know they are the barren ones, comprehension out of sight
For they cannot conceieve, my son, of how it feels to see
The face of a child, not of my flesh, but of my destiny
They cannot conceieve, my child, of what it means to love.
Another woman, another man, who prayed to God above
And then decided to love enough, to give to me their son.
To love, and raise, and call my own, until my life is done.
They cannot conceieve, dear one, of bonds beyond the ties.
Of if you have your daddy's nose or if you have my eyes
They cannot conceive, my child, of all the Lord still has in store.
For this family he created, not of my flesh and bone, but more.
They told me I could not conceive, and in part their words were true.....
For I cannot conceive, dear son, of never loving you.
~~Valerie Kay Gwin
__________________________________________________________________
You came into our lives
when you thought all was lost
A becon of hope
in a world full of frost
From the very first smile
you held our hearts
A wish I had made
to never tear us apart.
A family we are
now that is true
All the joy in the world
because of you.
Never again
will you be left alone
For here with us
We are your home.
By Danielle Good
__________________________________________
A Single Starfish
By Loren Eiseley
One day an old man was walking along the beach. It was low tide, and the sand was littered with thousands of stranded starfish that the water had carried in and then left behind. The man began walking very carefully so as not to step on any of the beautiful creatures. Since the animals still seemed to be alive, he considered picking some of them up and putting them back in the water, where they could resume their lives.
The man knew the starfish would die if left on the beach's dry sand but he reasoned that he could not possibly help them all, so he chose to do nothing and continued walking.
Soon afterward, the man came upon a small child on the beach who was frantically throwing one starfish after another back into the sea. The old man stopped and asked the child, "What are you doing?"
"I'm saving the starfish," the child replied.
"Why waste your time?... There are so many you can't save them all so what does is matter?" argued the man.
Without hesitation, the child picked up another starfish and tossed the starfish back into the water... "It matters to this one," the child explained.
__________________________________________________________________________
A Child Like Me?
With saddened eyes and head bent low,
It's damaged goods most see.
Whith my unclear past and broken heart,
Who would want a child like me?
I watch her walk into the room.
From a distance I can see.
But dare I take a closer step?
Who would want a child like me?
And then I see her look my way.
She smiles so tenderly.
But do I even dare to dream,
She would want a child like me?
And then, as if I spoke out loud,
She approaches cautionsly.
I try so hard to once believe,
She will want a child like me.
But dare I once let down my gaurd,
And trust that she will see,
Hiding beneath this old stained shirt,
Is a beautiful child like me?
My smile, they say, lights up a room.
I'll be good as good can be.
Oh, please, dear God, let her want
A special child like me.
I feel her hand reach out for mine,
And within her eyes I see,
A single, tiny, shining tear.
Could she want a child like me?
And when she takes me in her arms,
With a warmth so pure and new,
She says the words I've prayed to hear,
"The child I want is you"
~Lisa J Schlitt
________________________________________________________________________
Not Flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone, But still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute, you didn't grow beneath my heart, but in it.
~Anonymous
________________________________________________________________________________
Source:
CafeMom
Sep 13, 2008
http://www.cafemom.com/group/3104/forums/read/5631262/Does_anybody_have_poems_or_quotes_about_foster_care
Comments from Children in Foster Care
For the parents who have considered state or foster care... I found this article that has a list of quotes from children who are in foster care. I found them very moving and I hope you too will find them moving and it will inspire and motivate you to become an advocate, activist,foster care parent, or state adoptive parent.
Comments:
"I have been in foster care for 1 year, in that year I felt like my world had come to an end and that I had no meaning in my life, but with the help from people that worked with me I have found out differently….
…. without them I wouldn’t have come to the conclusion that I am special and that I am a person who deserves to be loved."
Beatrice, Age 16
"Now, for the good times: I am finally getting to be a boy….
I am getting to start a new life as being able to do kid’s stuff like I am supposed to do." anonymous child
"I am a foster kid and I am good….Do not forget Susanna."
Susanna, Age 10
"I think that when you become an adult it’s just like a toddler you’re a caterpillar, and when you’re a kid you’re a cocoon and finally you become an adult which would be a butterfly."
Jesse, Age 9
"….We should all make our foster care family a possibility."
MeMe, Age 17
" I know how it feels to be put in a foster home….
I know it’s hard but think of it this way! You get a chance to start over. Try to fix anything you did wrong!"
Star, Age 14
" Agitating they are! They’re always there when you least expect them. They slither upon you like an emotional python. I am talking about difficult times….
Difficult times are what everybody goes through. You should take control of these times and have a good life."
Kitt, Age 12
" It’s surprising to look back at my life and think of all the times I wanted to end it, but I’m still here. I try to look to the future for comfort when I’m feeling down…."
PoemGirl, Age 17
" It’s not unusual for people to experience difficult times. Some are easier to overcome than others some pierce the heart indefinitely and some pass by quickly. The most important key is surviving them, and grow smarter from each one.
I’ve been through a lot because of this one person and it amazes me to know that JUST ONE PERSON could cause so much pain….I’ve learned a lot from what I’ve been through. I’m a whole new person….This is the most difficult thing I’ve ever been through but I’m still here. I see myself as a survivor, striving to live and be happy, I’m almost there."
L’il Moma, Age 17
" The best advice I have from one foster child to another is that you never give up….
Never think that you are worthless."
Jane, Age 10
" It is hard to realize that the people we love are the ones who can hurt us the most—but forgiving is half the healing."
Adriana, Age 16
" FAITH IS A FRAGILE THING….Faith is what keeps children going on."
Mark, Age 12
" ….at least I know that I’ve tried my hardest and have gone over so many bumps in the road and have made it through the tough times and through what I thought was impossible. That is all I can do."
Poohbear, Age 17
" What makes me weak, and I deal with it, makes me stronger. Every foster kid should know that."
Sandy, Age 16
" I will be proud when I grow up. I will be a hero….I love me."
Stephanie, Age 9
Source:
FFTA essay contest: "Circumstances Leading to Foster Care"
"QUOTES FROM CHILDREN IN TREATMENT FOSTER CARE" Pages 1-3
http://www.ffta.org/publicpolicy_advocacy/personalizeadvocacy.pdf
Food For thought---
" Not Flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone, But still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute, you didn't grow beneath my heart, but in it."
~Anonymous
Source:
CafeMom-
Foster / Adoptive Parenting / General Discussion
Sep. 13, 2008
http://www.cafemom.com/group/3104/forums/read/5631262/Does_anybody_have_poems_or_quotes_about_foster_care
Peace and blessings! :-)
Blessed Hannah
Comments:
"I have been in foster care for 1 year, in that year I felt like my world had come to an end and that I had no meaning in my life, but with the help from people that worked with me I have found out differently….
…. without them I wouldn’t have come to the conclusion that I am special and that I am a person who deserves to be loved."
Beatrice, Age 16
"Now, for the good times: I am finally getting to be a boy….
I am getting to start a new life as being able to do kid’s stuff like I am supposed to do." anonymous child
"I am a foster kid and I am good….Do not forget Susanna."
Susanna, Age 10
"I think that when you become an adult it’s just like a toddler you’re a caterpillar, and when you’re a kid you’re a cocoon and finally you become an adult which would be a butterfly."
Jesse, Age 9
"….We should all make our foster care family a possibility."
MeMe, Age 17
" I know how it feels to be put in a foster home….
I know it’s hard but think of it this way! You get a chance to start over. Try to fix anything you did wrong!"
Star, Age 14
" Agitating they are! They’re always there when you least expect them. They slither upon you like an emotional python. I am talking about difficult times….
Difficult times are what everybody goes through. You should take control of these times and have a good life."
Kitt, Age 12
" It’s surprising to look back at my life and think of all the times I wanted to end it, but I’m still here. I try to look to the future for comfort when I’m feeling down…."
PoemGirl, Age 17
" It’s not unusual for people to experience difficult times. Some are easier to overcome than others some pierce the heart indefinitely and some pass by quickly. The most important key is surviving them, and grow smarter from each one.
I’ve been through a lot because of this one person and it amazes me to know that JUST ONE PERSON could cause so much pain….I’ve learned a lot from what I’ve been through. I’m a whole new person….This is the most difficult thing I’ve ever been through but I’m still here. I see myself as a survivor, striving to live and be happy, I’m almost there."
L’il Moma, Age 17
" The best advice I have from one foster child to another is that you never give up….
Never think that you are worthless."
Jane, Age 10
" It is hard to realize that the people we love are the ones who can hurt us the most—but forgiving is half the healing."
Adriana, Age 16
" FAITH IS A FRAGILE THING….Faith is what keeps children going on."
Mark, Age 12
" ….at least I know that I’ve tried my hardest and have gone over so many bumps in the road and have made it through the tough times and through what I thought was impossible. That is all I can do."
Poohbear, Age 17
" What makes me weak, and I deal with it, makes me stronger. Every foster kid should know that."
Sandy, Age 16
" I will be proud when I grow up. I will be a hero….I love me."
Stephanie, Age 9
Source:
FFTA essay contest: "Circumstances Leading to Foster Care"
"QUOTES FROM CHILDREN IN TREATMENT FOSTER CARE" Pages 1-3
http://www.ffta.org/publicpolicy_advocacy/personalizeadvocacy.pdf
Food For thought---
" Not Flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone, But still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute, you didn't grow beneath my heart, but in it."
~Anonymous
Source:
CafeMom-
Foster / Adoptive Parenting / General Discussion
Sep. 13, 2008
http://www.cafemom.com/group/3104/forums/read/5631262/Does_anybody_have_poems_or_quotes_about_foster_care
Peace and blessings! :-)
Blessed Hannah
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