Disney's New Animated Movie a Hit!
Disney's The Princess & The Frog
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Scholar Ladies: A must see for any parent or parent to be!!!
Scholar Ladies: A must see for any parent or parent to be!!!
This video is too cute!!!
It is a must see for any parent, student, or teacher and it truly proves that when a student puts his or her mind to do something educational and positive...
the outcome can be awesome and wonderful!!!!
Please view this video and have fun!!!
This school is trying to receive 10000 hits or more.
Please help them and together we can show You Tube that education is powerful and wonderful.
We need more positive videos like this video on You Tube!!!!
Have fun!!!!
This video is too cute!!!
It is a must see for any parent, student, or teacher and it truly proves that when a student puts his or her mind to do something educational and positive...
the outcome can be awesome and wonderful!!!!
Please view this video and have fun!!!
This school is trying to receive 10000 hits or more.
Please help them and together we can show You Tube that education is powerful and wonderful.
We need more positive videos like this video on You Tube!!!!
Have fun!!!!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Our Update!!!!
Our Update!!!!
Today my husband and I spoke to the adoption social worker in our area!!!
We told her that my husband completes his dislocated worker training in 2 years.
The social worker said they are not worried about us having 2 incomes we just need one stable income and a stable home.
We shall begin the initial adoption process in August 2011!!!
The adoption social worker suggested that my husband and I use this time to begin preparations for our child such as: , preparing to be financially and physically prepared for a child such as clothing, bedding, shoes, food, toys,decorating his room and other things that a child will need. She suggested that we prepare our home to be safe and to ensure we are emotionally and physically and of course financially ready to have a child.
We know that we want a son and we know that we prefer a child that is 8-18 months if that is not possible 18 months-3 years of age. The social worker suggested that if Oklahoma does not have a child in that age group that we can look in other state foster care systems and find a child that way also. She said that we should not give up, a child is possible for us but we are being smart by wanting to wait and that we are thinking about the welfare of a child. She is excited and can not wait until 2011 so that we can begin the initial process. We have decided that we will wait until we are ready to finalize before we release it to our family and other friends due to some of the negativity about adoption that we have received.
She suggested that I look into parenting classes at the local DHS office here in my current state. I will begin that process today....
By September 2011 we will celebrate 6 years of marriage and by the time our son comes home with us we will be married 7 years and that will look better as far as longevity of marriage.
We are so happy!!!! We still have not said anything to our families except my parents and grandmother who are supportive.
We are going to keep updating our blog as we continue the "researching process"!!!
I am a current volunteer at the local children's emergency shelter and the social worker said that will give me some experience working with these children and learning from children in the foster care program. The great thing about this opportunity is that my husband and I volunteer together when he is not in class.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Back Burner...
Time has passed since our last blog and we have decided to continue to place adoption on the back burner... we thought things were looking up for up and we could begin the process but things have continued to remain the same. We are not giving up, each day we hope that we can stop thinking about adoption, we think that if we stop mentioning the world adoption that it will fall from our vocabulary. No matter what we have tried... the word adoption continues to creep into our conversations and we have come to a crossroad in our lives...Continue... to...
research , to pray, to hope, to want, to wish, to dream, to vision....
or....
do we stop.
do we give up????
Langston Hughes's poem comes to my mind as I ponder these questions...
A Dream Deferred
by Langston Hughes
What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?
So what happens to our dream of adoption???
Maybe....
We have yet to consider that still want to try. Only time can tell.
research , to pray, to hope, to want, to wish, to dream, to vision....
or....
do we stop.
do we give up????
Langston Hughes's poem comes to my mind as I ponder these questions...
A Dream Deferred
by Langston Hughes
What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?
So what happens to our dream of adoption???
Maybe....
We have yet to consider that still want to try. Only time can tell.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Our Decision!!!! ( Concerning the gender of our child)
graphics for moms
Our decision!!!! ( Concerning the gender of our child)
graphics for moms
We have decided on the gender of our child... ( Drum roll please!) lol...
We have decided to adopt a boy!!!!! ( of course you knew that, lol)
Yeah!!!!
The Specifics...
Age: 18 months-2 years
The rest... coming soon!
I am so happy we have finally decided...
graphics for moms
Now we need to learn about raising an adopted child and how to raise boys! :-)
We will post things as we find them, feel free to post your comments! We love comments!
Feel free to post your ideas, suggestions for books and anything that we will need to know or to begin buying.
graphics for moms
Be Blessed & be a blessing!
Be blessed,
Blessed Hannah
Wishful thinking on a beautiful day...
Wishful thinking on a beautiful day...
I think it is okay for me to keep dreaming and maybe experts will tell me that what I am doing is harmful, but I say... if you want it and it is in God's will... claim it! "You have not because you ask not", said the word of God.
So here I am at home on a beautiful day that is full of splendor, blue skies, clouds moving well, just a bit of clouds, sun shining brightly as if it was celebrating. Oh what a day. This is the only real part of my beautiful day but I will not complain.
I am thinking about my future son.... a son that has his father's last name, one that, if we are allowed will share the name Joshua Ellis, or Joshua Thomas ( aka) Tommy, or Joshua Thomas McKinley... both names somewhat after my grandfathers and my dad. My husband does not want a son named after him because his name is so unique, LOL. Actually it is very common and he wants our son to have a unique and somewhat common name. Ahhh... to think of the smile that my son will have, bright, sunny, and lovable, a bit mischievous, but super intelligent, sweet, and mannerable.
God please bless us!
graphics for moms
Hmmm... some would say you want a perfect child, I did not say I want him to look like my husband and I. I said he would have those qualities...share the moment with me, I am dreaming here, nothing wrong with that. I am sure that our son will have a beautiful smile no matter what and who ever God sends to us to be our son, we will more than likely be happy and ready to be parents to a beautiful boy. Oh today was a nice warm day, not too hot. So I could imagine our son playing outside with our dog Eboni, and Eboni loves to play hide and go seek so she would cheat, lol. I could hear our son saying, Ebby, you cheated again! LOL. Oh I am so excited, I wish jobs in our area and the economy would become a lot better.
graphics for moms
Be blessed & be a blessing!
Be Blessed,
Blessed Hannah
I think it is okay for me to keep dreaming and maybe experts will tell me that what I am doing is harmful, but I say... if you want it and it is in God's will... claim it! "You have not because you ask not", said the word of God.
So here I am at home on a beautiful day that is full of splendor, blue skies, clouds moving well, just a bit of clouds, sun shining brightly as if it was celebrating. Oh what a day. This is the only real part of my beautiful day but I will not complain.
I am thinking about my future son.... a son that has his father's last name, one that, if we are allowed will share the name Joshua Ellis, or Joshua Thomas ( aka) Tommy, or Joshua Thomas McKinley... both names somewhat after my grandfathers and my dad. My husband does not want a son named after him because his name is so unique, LOL. Actually it is very common and he wants our son to have a unique and somewhat common name. Ahhh... to think of the smile that my son will have, bright, sunny, and lovable, a bit mischievous, but super intelligent, sweet, and mannerable.
God please bless us!
graphics for moms
Hmmm... some would say you want a perfect child, I did not say I want him to look like my husband and I. I said he would have those qualities...share the moment with me, I am dreaming here, nothing wrong with that. I am sure that our son will have a beautiful smile no matter what and who ever God sends to us to be our son, we will more than likely be happy and ready to be parents to a beautiful boy. Oh today was a nice warm day, not too hot. So I could imagine our son playing outside with our dog Eboni, and Eboni loves to play hide and go seek so she would cheat, lol. I could hear our son saying, Ebby, you cheated again! LOL. Oh I am so excited, I wish jobs in our area and the economy would become a lot better.
graphics for moms
Be blessed & be a blessing!
Be Blessed,
Blessed Hannah
Adoption Graphics
Are you Searching for Adoption graphics to add to your website, adoption voice page, Cafe Mom page, or Myspace page????
Check these websites out!
Adoption Graphics
adoption myspace graphics
adoption myspace graphics
My Sun will shine
graphics for moms
Mommy Graphics
Mommy Graphics
Aero Charm Graphics
More Adoption Graphics
I hope you find a graphic that you love!!!
Be a blessing to others and allow God to bless you! :-)
Be blessed!
Blessings,
Blessed Hannah
Check these websites out!
Adoption Graphics
adoption myspace graphics
adoption myspace graphics
My Sun will shine
graphics for moms
Mommy Graphics
Mommy Graphics
Aero Charm Graphics
More Adoption Graphics
I hope you find a graphic that you love!!!
Be a blessing to others and allow God to bless you! :-)
Be blessed!
Blessings,
Blessed Hannah
Friday, September 25, 2009
Rain brings change...
"Rainy days may come... but rainbows and sunshine always will follow...life is a challenge, but we must have rainy days to allow us time to gather our plan of action, execute it, and continue to move forward... Encourage yourself daily!
Hold on, do not give up...do not grow weary....you must equip! Rain does not mean it is the end, it is the beginning... it is a change, the beginning of a change!"
- ~*Blessed Hannah*~!
Hold on, do not give up...do not grow weary....you must equip! Rain does not mean it is the end, it is the beginning... it is a change, the beginning of a change!"
- ~*Blessed Hannah*~!
Wishing for Perfect Days?
Perfect days please come! :-(
My husband and I have not lost our dream of adopting a child, as of our current situation, we are channeling our focus upon our studies and working hard to excel in our studies. I feel that it is a way for me to forget about adoption and stop thinking about children but no matter what I say, think, or even do... I find myself in a place where I am thinking about my child, a child that is mine and I am holding him, comforting him, playing with him and our dogs, watching my husband and him play catch in the Autumn leaves. One of my best friends told me to get my heads out of the clouds and concentrate on school, focus on preparing our home so that when we do begin the adoption process that all systems are go. I agree, but my mind still wonders, my mind still ponders upon a thought or to pause for the mere second of a child. Why is it that when a woman's biological clock ticks very hard, that is all the body wants? The problem is when the body can not produce it, the mind wonders and I know I am off subject here, but I am honest.
My graduate studies professor and I were discussing women, age, and children. My professor told me that she is in her early 40s and she has no children, she is married but she wanted to accomplish her goals in life. She told me that some people think that women who wait to have or adopt children in their 30s and up are not the norm. My professor said that it is perfectly fine for a woman in her 30s and up to not have children. It is okay to ensure that I accomplish my reasonably set goals in order to create a stable life for my future children.
I am so elated to have this discussion with someone who is near my age and has heard the old tails. lol
I know there is no such thing as a perfect day... but one day... I hope to have that perfect day, that day when I can longer imagine about my little boy. One day when my little boy is flesh and blood and he is playing outside on our acre of land, taking him fishing on a pond near our home, taking him to Winding Stair Mountain so he can say... " Whoa Mom, that is cool!, Look Dad, that is cool!"
I look forward to the day of reality when I can say my son's name. When he shares our last name and when I can look into his bright and curious eyes and say, I love you my son. That would be a prefect day for me. So perfect days please come is what I pray.
We had to put everything that we wanted on hold until we regain our financial strength. Which is better to struggle without children than to financially struggle with children. I want to afford weekend trips with our children, let him visit his sisters, go on summer vacations, go to my sorority's conferences and while I am away in meetings, he and my hubby can explore the zoos and do the things the sorority has for families to do! :-)/// ( Sings..."Ohhh, I can dream about it!" )
My husband has told me that if we think it, it shall be, it shall come.
If we ask God to make a way, we need to ask God to bless us financially, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, and psychologically to be equip and ready for our child to come home to us. To have a house full of children that belong to us both and still have room for his daughters to come and visit and spend time with their new siblings. Of course...doubt has began to creep in and settle... The back of my mind is saying...Time is not on my side...age... money is not a sound investment now. If not now, it will never be...doubt,and fear are my mortal enemies.
Have a blessed day, be a blessing, and you shall receive a blessing!
Blessings,
Blessed Hannah
My husband and I have not lost our dream of adopting a child, as of our current situation, we are channeling our focus upon our studies and working hard to excel in our studies. I feel that it is a way for me to forget about adoption and stop thinking about children but no matter what I say, think, or even do... I find myself in a place where I am thinking about my child, a child that is mine and I am holding him, comforting him, playing with him and our dogs, watching my husband and him play catch in the Autumn leaves. One of my best friends told me to get my heads out of the clouds and concentrate on school, focus on preparing our home so that when we do begin the adoption process that all systems are go. I agree, but my mind still wonders, my mind still ponders upon a thought or to pause for the mere second of a child. Why is it that when a woman's biological clock ticks very hard, that is all the body wants? The problem is when the body can not produce it, the mind wonders and I know I am off subject here, but I am honest.
My graduate studies professor and I were discussing women, age, and children. My professor told me that she is in her early 40s and she has no children, she is married but she wanted to accomplish her goals in life. She told me that some people think that women who wait to have or adopt children in their 30s and up are not the norm. My professor said that it is perfectly fine for a woman in her 30s and up to not have children. It is okay to ensure that I accomplish my reasonably set goals in order to create a stable life for my future children.
I am so elated to have this discussion with someone who is near my age and has heard the old tails. lol
I know there is no such thing as a perfect day... but one day... I hope to have that perfect day, that day when I can longer imagine about my little boy. One day when my little boy is flesh and blood and he is playing outside on our acre of land, taking him fishing on a pond near our home, taking him to Winding Stair Mountain so he can say... " Whoa Mom, that is cool!, Look Dad, that is cool!"
I look forward to the day of reality when I can say my son's name. When he shares our last name and when I can look into his bright and curious eyes and say, I love you my son. That would be a prefect day for me. So perfect days please come is what I pray.
We had to put everything that we wanted on hold until we regain our financial strength. Which is better to struggle without children than to financially struggle with children. I want to afford weekend trips with our children, let him visit his sisters, go on summer vacations, go to my sorority's conferences and while I am away in meetings, he and my hubby can explore the zoos and do the things the sorority has for families to do! :-)/// ( Sings..."Ohhh, I can dream about it!" )
My husband has told me that if we think it, it shall be, it shall come.
If we ask God to make a way, we need to ask God to bless us financially, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, and psychologically to be equip and ready for our child to come home to us. To have a house full of children that belong to us both and still have room for his daughters to come and visit and spend time with their new siblings. Of course...doubt has began to creep in and settle... The back of my mind is saying...Time is not on my side...age... money is not a sound investment now. If not now, it will never be...doubt,and fear are my mortal enemies.
Have a blessed day, be a blessing, and you shall receive a blessing!
Blessings,
Blessed Hannah
Monday, August 31, 2009
Introduction to Adopting & Parenting Children with Special Needs
More research that my husband and I are learning about are the children with special needs.
Here is an article from Adoption.com: Introduction to adopting & parenting children with special needs (from the perspective of a parent in a domestic special needs adoption) I am an adopting parent. I wish to open my home and my heart to a sibling group that needs me, siblings who want more brothers and sisters, namely the kids who are already here. I don't want to do this alone. This is what I need from the other stakeholders, from my village (if you'll excuse my calling on an oft-used metaphor).
From the adoption agency: I need support in the form of some encouragement and enthusiasm when I call to request an application packet. I know you are busy, probably too busy, and underpaid to boot, but if you treat me as though I am a burden to you, I may feel unwanted and drop the whole idea. Please understand that my first contact with you is critical. If I am truly one of America's greatest natural resources, please treat me as good as gold.
From my extended family and friends and co-workers: I need a slap on the back. Guess what, I'm not crazy. And I'm certainly no saint. This decision has not been made lightly so please don't assume I have not thought it through. I don't need your approval, but I would like to have it. I'd never tell you how many kids to have, so I hope you won't tell me. What I need from you is a big hug and a hearty "Congratulations!" You see, I'm emotionally pregnant right now. And expectant mothers need TLC.
After the Homestudy
Once the home study is finished and the match is made, I need 100% full disclosure from the agency. I need to know everything about the children that there is to know, to be the most effective parent I can be. And please give me full disclosure on the adoption benefits, non-recurring expenses reimbursement, subsidy, services, medical extras, and the rest. I need to know what is out there so I can advocate for my children. My love for my family is boundless, but my financial resources are very limited.
From my adoptive parent support group: I need you to be there long term. Every year, I will need something different from you. At first, mostly information, later, for social support and activities. And always, my children and I will need the warmth of friendship from other adoptive families.
From the administrative hearing officers and the Regional Children's Bureau: I need help advocating financially for my children when negotiations with state administrators break down. AAP contracts are complex instruments and the federal law is relatively young. Adoptive parents like me desperately need help when the process stalls. Please listen to me, be fair, and know that you may be my children's best chance to access adequate financial assistance and services.
From my attorney: I need expert legal assistance to finalize my adoption at the lowest possible cost. Please don't charge me $2,000 just because you know that my adoption expenses can be reimbursed to that amount. After all, there are other costs, too, even with public agency adoptions, such as visitation costs.
From my child's former foster parents: I need a blessing. Please give my children permission to love me and to be part of my family as they leave yours. Tell me the whole truth about them, help me prepare and then be there for them as they adjust. They will miss you. Remember that you will always be a part of our family.
After Placement
From my child's school: I need you to know when it is important that my child is adopted and when it isn't. It is important when her concentration lags or behaviors flare up due to his history of child abuse and neglect. It is not important on the playground when my child is trying to fit in. I need you to respect my role as the expert on my child's needs. I need you to listen to me when I ask for educational accommodations. Adopted children with special needs have special needs.
From my family doctor, pharmacist and therapist: I need you to be a bigger part of my village than you might be used to. I will need extra paperwork from you for adoption assistance negotiations, I may need more medical care for my children than is typical, from day one on. I need all the access to you that you can reasonably give me.
From my neighbors: I need your friendly smile and a little patience. My daughter has trouble with boundaries. Please forgive her for pulling the petals off the big rose on your rosebush. She knows now she shouldn't play "he loves me, he loves me not" with your flowers. Please look the other way when my impulsive son urinates in the backyard after a snowstorm. He doesn't understand that this is not the best way to perfect his name-writing skills. I'm teaching, they are learning, but it is slow going sometimes. Please be role models of neighborliness because my children began life in dangerous places and will learn how to be neighbors by watching you.
From my children's other set of parents, their birth parents: I need your acceptance and your prayers. While you get your life together, hopefully overcoming the big problems that resulted in the termination of parental rights, I am raising our children. If possible, send a letter and some photos occasionally to the agency. When the children are ready and want to meet you again, when it is safe, please be there for them. After the reunion, don't call me a glorified babysitter. Our children have two sets of parents - for always - please accept and respect my role in our children's lives as I accept and respect yours.
From society, the people at the grocery store, the guy who fixes my car: I need a little privacy and sensitivity. My different race children may not wish to explain to you, virtual strangers, why their birth parents are not raising them. If you want to know more about adoption, call an agency, read a book, or call me later. My kids are more comfortable this way.
From the residential treatment facility, the police and the juvenile court judges: I need you to understand that I am not the one who created the rage in my teen-agers. I have been a good parent. Please acknowledge this and don't blame me for their shoplifting and running away and vandalism. Instead, help me help them. Don't coddle them, but understand what they are working through. The teen years are especially tough on kids who have been through hell, who have lost everything, who struggle with feelings of loss only adoptees know.
The Forgotten Miracle
But have a little faith. They'll grow up and many of the seeds that all of us planted will germinate and grow and bloom and their kids, my grandkids, won't need you as much as I have needed all of you. Because the vicious cycle of pain will have been broken. For good.
That's the forgotten miracle of adoption. It breaks the cycle of dysfunction, stops it dead in its tracks, or at least, slows it down a little.
I know this because my sibling group, the ones who spent time in mental hospitals and residential treatment facilities, and yes, jail, are doing better every year. One went to college for a while and is a wonderful mother, and the other earned his GED against all odds and is holding down a job. We enjoy each other a great deal again, now that they are all grown up, but it took time. And blood, sweat and tears. And my wonderful village.
God bless you for staying the course with me. I thank you and my grandchildren thank you, and someday my great-grandchildren will thank you.
~ Rita Laws, Ph.D.
Source:
http://special-needs.adoption.com/
Here is an article from Adoption.com: Introduction to adopting & parenting children with special needs (from the perspective of a parent in a domestic special needs adoption) I am an adopting parent. I wish to open my home and my heart to a sibling group that needs me, siblings who want more brothers and sisters, namely the kids who are already here. I don't want to do this alone. This is what I need from the other stakeholders, from my village (if you'll excuse my calling on an oft-used metaphor).
From the adoption agency: I need support in the form of some encouragement and enthusiasm when I call to request an application packet. I know you are busy, probably too busy, and underpaid to boot, but if you treat me as though I am a burden to you, I may feel unwanted and drop the whole idea. Please understand that my first contact with you is critical. If I am truly one of America's greatest natural resources, please treat me as good as gold.
From my extended family and friends and co-workers: I need a slap on the back. Guess what, I'm not crazy. And I'm certainly no saint. This decision has not been made lightly so please don't assume I have not thought it through. I don't need your approval, but I would like to have it. I'd never tell you how many kids to have, so I hope you won't tell me. What I need from you is a big hug and a hearty "Congratulations!" You see, I'm emotionally pregnant right now. And expectant mothers need TLC.
After the Homestudy
Once the home study is finished and the match is made, I need 100% full disclosure from the agency. I need to know everything about the children that there is to know, to be the most effective parent I can be. And please give me full disclosure on the adoption benefits, non-recurring expenses reimbursement, subsidy, services, medical extras, and the rest. I need to know what is out there so I can advocate for my children. My love for my family is boundless, but my financial resources are very limited.
From my adoptive parent support group: I need you to be there long term. Every year, I will need something different from you. At first, mostly information, later, for social support and activities. And always, my children and I will need the warmth of friendship from other adoptive families.
From the administrative hearing officers and the Regional Children's Bureau: I need help advocating financially for my children when negotiations with state administrators break down. AAP contracts are complex instruments and the federal law is relatively young. Adoptive parents like me desperately need help when the process stalls. Please listen to me, be fair, and know that you may be my children's best chance to access adequate financial assistance and services.
From my attorney: I need expert legal assistance to finalize my adoption at the lowest possible cost. Please don't charge me $2,000 just because you know that my adoption expenses can be reimbursed to that amount. After all, there are other costs, too, even with public agency adoptions, such as visitation costs.
From my child's former foster parents: I need a blessing. Please give my children permission to love me and to be part of my family as they leave yours. Tell me the whole truth about them, help me prepare and then be there for them as they adjust. They will miss you. Remember that you will always be a part of our family.
After Placement
From my child's school: I need you to know when it is important that my child is adopted and when it isn't. It is important when her concentration lags or behaviors flare up due to his history of child abuse and neglect. It is not important on the playground when my child is trying to fit in. I need you to respect my role as the expert on my child's needs. I need you to listen to me when I ask for educational accommodations. Adopted children with special needs have special needs.
From my family doctor, pharmacist and therapist: I need you to be a bigger part of my village than you might be used to. I will need extra paperwork from you for adoption assistance negotiations, I may need more medical care for my children than is typical, from day one on. I need all the access to you that you can reasonably give me.
From my neighbors: I need your friendly smile and a little patience. My daughter has trouble with boundaries. Please forgive her for pulling the petals off the big rose on your rosebush. She knows now she shouldn't play "he loves me, he loves me not" with your flowers. Please look the other way when my impulsive son urinates in the backyard after a snowstorm. He doesn't understand that this is not the best way to perfect his name-writing skills. I'm teaching, they are learning, but it is slow going sometimes. Please be role models of neighborliness because my children began life in dangerous places and will learn how to be neighbors by watching you.
From my children's other set of parents, their birth parents: I need your acceptance and your prayers. While you get your life together, hopefully overcoming the big problems that resulted in the termination of parental rights, I am raising our children. If possible, send a letter and some photos occasionally to the agency. When the children are ready and want to meet you again, when it is safe, please be there for them. After the reunion, don't call me a glorified babysitter. Our children have two sets of parents - for always - please accept and respect my role in our children's lives as I accept and respect yours.
From society, the people at the grocery store, the guy who fixes my car: I need a little privacy and sensitivity. My different race children may not wish to explain to you, virtual strangers, why their birth parents are not raising them. If you want to know more about adoption, call an agency, read a book, or call me later. My kids are more comfortable this way.
From the residential treatment facility, the police and the juvenile court judges: I need you to understand that I am not the one who created the rage in my teen-agers. I have been a good parent. Please acknowledge this and don't blame me for their shoplifting and running away and vandalism. Instead, help me help them. Don't coddle them, but understand what they are working through. The teen years are especially tough on kids who have been through hell, who have lost everything, who struggle with feelings of loss only adoptees know.
The Forgotten Miracle
But have a little faith. They'll grow up and many of the seeds that all of us planted will germinate and grow and bloom and their kids, my grandkids, won't need you as much as I have needed all of you. Because the vicious cycle of pain will have been broken. For good.
That's the forgotten miracle of adoption. It breaks the cycle of dysfunction, stops it dead in its tracks, or at least, slows it down a little.
I know this because my sibling group, the ones who spent time in mental hospitals and residential treatment facilities, and yes, jail, are doing better every year. One went to college for a while and is a wonderful mother, and the other earned his GED against all odds and is holding down a job. We enjoy each other a great deal again, now that they are all grown up, but it took time. And blood, sweat and tears. And my wonderful village.
God bless you for staying the course with me. I thank you and my grandchildren thank you, and someday my great-grandchildren will thank you.
~ Rita Laws, Ph.D.
Source:
http://special-needs.adoption.com/
Semi-open Adoption
More research that my husband and I are learning about are the semi-open adoptions.
Here is an article from Adoption.com:
Semi-open adoption is the practice in which information, generally non-identifying information, is shared between adopting parents and placing parents. Usually semi-open adoption consists of the exchange of letters, photos and possibly emails, either directly or through an agency or third party. Often, adopting parents will set up a post office box which letters, cards and photos can be sent and received. Unlike closed adoption, it is more common for placing parents to choose the adopting family for their child prior to birth. It is also not unheard of to have some pre-birth face-to-face meetings or for the placing and adopting families to spend time together at the hospital during and after the birth.
Semi-open adoption doesn't usually involve any post-placement face-to-face visitation. The children involved don't normally have any direct communication with their biological parents. Like closed adoption, once a child reaches the age of majority in their state, they have the option of searching for or being searched for by their biological family. However, unlike closed adoption, those involved in a semi-open adoption usually have access to some basic information which can assist in the search process.
As adoption has evolved over the course of the last decade, adoption practitioners are finding more and more semi-open adoption arrangements in situations that routinely would have been closed, such as international and foster care adoptions.
Source:
http://semi-open.adoption.com/
Here is an article from Adoption.com:
Semi-open adoption is the practice in which information, generally non-identifying information, is shared between adopting parents and placing parents. Usually semi-open adoption consists of the exchange of letters, photos and possibly emails, either directly or through an agency or third party. Often, adopting parents will set up a post office box which letters, cards and photos can be sent and received. Unlike closed adoption, it is more common for placing parents to choose the adopting family for their child prior to birth. It is also not unheard of to have some pre-birth face-to-face meetings or for the placing and adopting families to spend time together at the hospital during and after the birth.
Semi-open adoption doesn't usually involve any post-placement face-to-face visitation. The children involved don't normally have any direct communication with their biological parents. Like closed adoption, once a child reaches the age of majority in their state, they have the option of searching for or being searched for by their biological family. However, unlike closed adoption, those involved in a semi-open adoption usually have access to some basic information which can assist in the search process.
As adoption has evolved over the course of the last decade, adoption practitioners are finding more and more semi-open adoption arrangements in situations that routinely would have been closed, such as international and foster care adoptions.
Source:
http://semi-open.adoption.com/
Independent Adoptions
More research that my husband and I are learning about are the independent adoptions.
Here is an article from Adoption.com:
Independent adoptions
Are identified or designated adoptions where prospective adopting and prospective placing parents have located each other themselves (allowed in most States, and some agencies will assist with these placements); using attorneys or other intermediaries defined by State law; using adoption facilitators (allowed in only a few states and some foreign countries); doing the work yourself (permitted for some international adoptions) with the aid of in-country assistance.
Since adoption laws in the state where you live govern your options, it is essential that you know what types of placements are allowed or not allowed by your state’s laws. If you pursue an adoption across state lines, you must comply with the laws in both states before the child can join your family. States have enacted legislation that governs how children can be placed across State lines (Interstate Compacts).
For international adoptions, your state laws, laws and regulations of the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Service (USCIS, formerly INS), the U.S. State Department, and the laws of the specific country will apply.
In weighing your options, you should evaluate your ability to tolerate risk.
Of the options outlined above:
agency adoptions provide the greatest assurance of monitoring and oversight since agencies are required to adhere to licensing and procedural standards;
independent adoptions by attorneys at least provide assurance that attorneys must adhere to the standards of the Bar Association and some attorneys who specialize in adoption are members of the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys, a professional membership organization with standards of ethical practice;
adoptive placements by facilitators offer the least amount of supervision and oversight. This does not mean that there are not ethical professionals with good standards of practice; it simply means there are few or no oversight mechanisms in place at this time.
In addition to risk factors above, other considerations in selecting the type of adoption you pursue can include:
>>> costs
>>> country restrictions (international adoptions)
>>> open adoptions
>>> child health
>>> your age, marital status, sexual orientation, etc.
and others.
Source:
http://adopting.adoption.com/child/what-are-the-different-types-of-adoption.html
Here is an article from Adoption.com:
Independent adoptions
Are identified or designated adoptions where prospective adopting and prospective placing parents have located each other themselves (allowed in most States, and some agencies will assist with these placements); using attorneys or other intermediaries defined by State law; using adoption facilitators (allowed in only a few states and some foreign countries); doing the work yourself (permitted for some international adoptions) with the aid of in-country assistance.
Since adoption laws in the state where you live govern your options, it is essential that you know what types of placements are allowed or not allowed by your state’s laws. If you pursue an adoption across state lines, you must comply with the laws in both states before the child can join your family. States have enacted legislation that governs how children can be placed across State lines (Interstate Compacts).
For international adoptions, your state laws, laws and regulations of the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Service (USCIS, formerly INS), the U.S. State Department, and the laws of the specific country will apply.
In weighing your options, you should evaluate your ability to tolerate risk.
Of the options outlined above:
agency adoptions provide the greatest assurance of monitoring and oversight since agencies are required to adhere to licensing and procedural standards;
independent adoptions by attorneys at least provide assurance that attorneys must adhere to the standards of the Bar Association and some attorneys who specialize in adoption are members of the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys, a professional membership organization with standards of ethical practice;
adoptive placements by facilitators offer the least amount of supervision and oversight. This does not mean that there are not ethical professionals with good standards of practice; it simply means there are few or no oversight mechanisms in place at this time.
In addition to risk factors above, other considerations in selecting the type of adoption you pursue can include:
>>> costs
>>> country restrictions (international adoptions)
>>> open adoptions
>>> child health
>>> your age, marital status, sexual orientation, etc.
and others.
Source:
http://adopting.adoption.com/child/what-are-the-different-types-of-adoption.html
Foster care Adoption v.s. Agency Adoption
My husband and I have been comparing and contrasting foster care & agency adoptions.
We complied our research to post on our blog.
1. Foster Care Adoption
Foster care adoption involves the adoption of children who are living in the U.S. foster care system. These adoptions are usually handled through local and regional public agencies; however some States contract with licensed private agencies to recruit, train, conduct home studies and license adoptive parents for these children. In some States prospective parents will be dually licensed as both foster and an adoptive parents.
While most children who are adopted from foster care are adopted by their foster parents and other children are adopted by their relatives, nationwide there are still many thousands of children in the U.S. foster care system waiting for permanent families (See the Trends in Foster Care Adoption from the Adoption and Foster Care Analysis and Reporting System on the Children's Bureau website for the most recent years' numbers of children waiting: http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb/stats_research/afcars/trends.htm. Child welfare professionals must recruit potential adoptive families for these children who are waiting for adoption.
Source: http://www.childwelfare.gov/adoption/foster/
http://books.google.com/books?id=QZ09AAAAIAAJ&pg=PA40&dq=adoption+and+foster+care#v=onepage&q=&f=false
2. Adoption through Adoption Agencies
There are two basic types of adoption agencies: public and private.
Public agencies are usually supported by public funding, are run by counties or states, and generally assist in the adoption of children in the foster care system.
Private agencies are usually licensed by the state but run privately and can assist in most types of adoption.
Adoption agencies often provide more support services than in a private adoption, such as pre-adoption education, counseling, homestudies, and post-adoption services and/or referrals. An agency usually does all of the "finding" of possible adoption opportunities for you. With increased services, costs are often higher than a private adoption.
Agency adoptions through the local public agency (also known as foster care, child welfare, social services); through licensed private agencies (permissible in most states and many foreign countries).
Agency adoptions can involve a wide range of adoptable children, depending on the focus of the agency. Some agencies specialize in the placement of international children, bi-racial children, special needs children, or children of a particular ethnic group. Other agencies may be involved entirely in adoptions involving infants. Some adoption agencies are selective in the type of adoptive couples with whom they will work.
Source:
http://adopting.adoption.com/child/agency-adoption.html
We complied our research to post on our blog.
1. Foster Care Adoption
Foster care adoption involves the adoption of children who are living in the U.S. foster care system. These adoptions are usually handled through local and regional public agencies; however some States contract with licensed private agencies to recruit, train, conduct home studies and license adoptive parents for these children. In some States prospective parents will be dually licensed as both foster and an adoptive parents.
While most children who are adopted from foster care are adopted by their foster parents and other children are adopted by their relatives, nationwide there are still many thousands of children in the U.S. foster care system waiting for permanent families (See the Trends in Foster Care Adoption from the Adoption and Foster Care Analysis and Reporting System on the Children's Bureau website for the most recent years' numbers of children waiting: http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb/stats_research/afcars/trends.htm. Child welfare professionals must recruit potential adoptive families for these children who are waiting for adoption.
Source: http://www.childwelfare.gov/adoption/foster/
http://books.google.com/books?id=QZ09AAAAIAAJ&pg=PA40&dq=adoption+and+foster+care#v=onepage&q=&f=false
2. Adoption through Adoption Agencies
There are two basic types of adoption agencies: public and private.
Public agencies are usually supported by public funding, are run by counties or states, and generally assist in the adoption of children in the foster care system.
Private agencies are usually licensed by the state but run privately and can assist in most types of adoption.
Adoption agencies often provide more support services than in a private adoption, such as pre-adoption education, counseling, homestudies, and post-adoption services and/or referrals. An agency usually does all of the "finding" of possible adoption opportunities for you. With increased services, costs are often higher than a private adoption.
Agency adoptions through the local public agency (also known as foster care, child welfare, social services); through licensed private agencies (permissible in most states and many foreign countries).
Agency adoptions can involve a wide range of adoptable children, depending on the focus of the agency. Some agencies specialize in the placement of international children, bi-racial children, special needs children, or children of a particular ethnic group. Other agencies may be involved entirely in adoptions involving infants. Some adoption agencies are selective in the type of adoptive couples with whom they will work.
Source:
http://adopting.adoption.com/child/agency-adoption.html
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Our Final Decision
We have decided to wait one year to begin the adoption application process for DHS. We are going to research more options about adoption, children with special needs, and
bi-racial, and African American children adoptions. We need to understand open adoptions and how they will benefit the child, and how they will affect my husband and I. In a way, we both agreed that with this economy and the way things are going...we should wait, save our money, complete our studies, wait until we both have better jobs, and we are more financially secure. I am still looking for employment since I did not get the job I interviewed for and I was so hurt and heartbroken, so sad, but I know God has something better for me and I shall not be moved. I will look unto the hills from whence my help comes. God is my rock, my shelter, and I will continue to put him 1st!
We know we do not have to be rich, but we want to support a child without government assistance( but if they offer it, we will not say no!) :-)
We both need to take the advice of our families, friends, and our new friends from Adoption Voices. We need to read Adoption books, we need to investigate, research, and then compile our information. We need to be one, a team and decide when, where, and how. We were so excited about the possibilities, that we never thought about what could go wrong, or what if this does not happen the way we want it, or what if the child we are looking for is not the child we receive??? We have so many preconceived notions and we need to really sit down and learn from each other, what do we expect as parents???? How will we discipline??? What will we do for childcare??? Date nights??? Family time??? Who will godparent if something God forbid happened to us???
We have never thought about these questions and I know he has children, but their mother will care for them, but what about the child he and I will adopt? What about our families??/ Will they be willing to accept this child who is not their biological relative? We need to be more logical and rational!
We are working on this new process so please bear with us because our blog will shift into a new direction, it will shift to what we are learning and how we truly feel about what we are learning, different parenting styles we might want to learn, and parenting seminars we have attended.
Please be in prayer for us!!! :-)
Blessed Hannah
bi-racial, and African American children adoptions. We need to understand open adoptions and how they will benefit the child, and how they will affect my husband and I. In a way, we both agreed that with this economy and the way things are going...we should wait, save our money, complete our studies, wait until we both have better jobs, and we are more financially secure. I am still looking for employment since I did not get the job I interviewed for and I was so hurt and heartbroken, so sad, but I know God has something better for me and I shall not be moved. I will look unto the hills from whence my help comes. God is my rock, my shelter, and I will continue to put him 1st!
We know we do not have to be rich, but we want to support a child without government assistance( but if they offer it, we will not say no!) :-)
We both need to take the advice of our families, friends, and our new friends from Adoption Voices. We need to read Adoption books, we need to investigate, research, and then compile our information. We need to be one, a team and decide when, where, and how. We were so excited about the possibilities, that we never thought about what could go wrong, or what if this does not happen the way we want it, or what if the child we are looking for is not the child we receive??? We have so many preconceived notions and we need to really sit down and learn from each other, what do we expect as parents???? How will we discipline??? What will we do for childcare??? Date nights??? Family time??? Who will godparent if something God forbid happened to us???
We have never thought about these questions and I know he has children, but their mother will care for them, but what about the child he and I will adopt? What about our families??/ Will they be willing to accept this child who is not their biological relative? We need to be more logical and rational!
We are working on this new process so please bear with us because our blog will shift into a new direction, it will shift to what we are learning and how we truly feel about what we are learning, different parenting styles we might want to learn, and parenting seminars we have attended.
Please be in prayer for us!!! :-)
Blessed Hannah
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Poems about adoption
I found some poem about the website that I have mentioned at the bottom of this post listed under sources. These poems are very moving, touching, and it shows that love of a parent is not about flesh and blood, or blood being thicker than water... it is about having room in your heart to accept, be responsible, nurture, and love a child regardless of he or she not being your own flesh and blood.
_______________________________________________________________________
The Poetry...
They told me I could not conceive, and tests showed they were right;
They considered but the physical, forgetting our Father's Might.
True, my child, I did not conceive you within the limites of my womb,
But still you grew within my heart- a heart with boundless room.
They told me I could not conceive, and in on way they were right.
Now I know they are the barren ones, comprehension out of sight
For they cannot conceieve, my son, of how it feels to see
The face of a child, not of my flesh, but of my destiny
They cannot conceieve, my child, of what it means to love.
Another woman, another man, who prayed to God above
And then decided to love enough, to give to me their son.
To love, and raise, and call my own, until my life is done.
They cannot conceieve, dear one, of bonds beyond the ties.
Of if you have your daddy's nose or if you have my eyes
They cannot conceive, my child, of all the Lord still has in store.
For this family he created, not of my flesh and bone, but more.
They told me I could not conceive, and in part their words were true.....
For I cannot conceive, dear son, of never loving you.
~~Valerie Kay Gwin
__________________________________________________________________
You came into our lives
when you thought all was lost
A becon of hope
in a world full of frost
From the very first smile
you held our hearts
A wish I had made
to never tear us apart.
A family we are
now that is true
All the joy in the world
because of you.
Never again
will you be left alone
For here with us
We are your home.
By Danielle Good
__________________________________________
A Single Starfish
By Loren Eiseley
One day an old man was walking along the beach. It was low tide, and the sand was littered with thousands of stranded starfish that the water had carried in and then left behind. The man began walking very carefully so as not to step on any of the beautiful creatures. Since the animals still seemed to be alive, he considered picking some of them up and putting them back in the water, where they could resume their lives.
The man knew the starfish would die if left on the beach's dry sand but he reasoned that he could not possibly help them all, so he chose to do nothing and continued walking.
Soon afterward, the man came upon a small child on the beach who was frantically throwing one starfish after another back into the sea. The old man stopped and asked the child, "What are you doing?"
"I'm saving the starfish," the child replied.
"Why waste your time?... There are so many you can't save them all so what does is matter?" argued the man.
Without hesitation, the child picked up another starfish and tossed the starfish back into the water... "It matters to this one," the child explained.
__________________________________________________________________________
A Child Like Me?
With saddened eyes and head bent low,
It's damaged goods most see.
Whith my unclear past and broken heart,
Who would want a child like me?
I watch her walk into the room.
From a distance I can see.
But dare I take a closer step?
Who would want a child like me?
And then I see her look my way.
She smiles so tenderly.
But do I even dare to dream,
She would want a child like me?
And then, as if I spoke out loud,
She approaches cautionsly.
I try so hard to once believe,
She will want a child like me.
But dare I once let down my gaurd,
And trust that she will see,
Hiding beneath this old stained shirt,
Is a beautiful child like me?
My smile, they say, lights up a room.
I'll be good as good can be.
Oh, please, dear God, let her want
A special child like me.
I feel her hand reach out for mine,
And within her eyes I see,
A single, tiny, shining tear.
Could she want a child like me?
And when she takes me in her arms,
With a warmth so pure and new,
She says the words I've prayed to hear,
"The child I want is you"
~Lisa J Schlitt
________________________________________________________________________
Not Flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone, But still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute, you didn't grow beneath my heart, but in it.
~Anonymous
________________________________________________________________________________
Source:
CafeMom
Sep 13, 2008
http://www.cafemom.com/group/3104/forums/read/5631262/Does_anybody_have_poems_or_quotes_about_foster_care
_______________________________________________________________________
The Poetry...
They told me I could not conceive, and tests showed they were right;
They considered but the physical, forgetting our Father's Might.
True, my child, I did not conceive you within the limites of my womb,
But still you grew within my heart- a heart with boundless room.
They told me I could not conceive, and in on way they were right.
Now I know they are the barren ones, comprehension out of sight
For they cannot conceieve, my son, of how it feels to see
The face of a child, not of my flesh, but of my destiny
They cannot conceieve, my child, of what it means to love.
Another woman, another man, who prayed to God above
And then decided to love enough, to give to me their son.
To love, and raise, and call my own, until my life is done.
They cannot conceieve, dear one, of bonds beyond the ties.
Of if you have your daddy's nose or if you have my eyes
They cannot conceive, my child, of all the Lord still has in store.
For this family he created, not of my flesh and bone, but more.
They told me I could not conceive, and in part their words were true.....
For I cannot conceive, dear son, of never loving you.
~~Valerie Kay Gwin
__________________________________________________________________
You came into our lives
when you thought all was lost
A becon of hope
in a world full of frost
From the very first smile
you held our hearts
A wish I had made
to never tear us apart.
A family we are
now that is true
All the joy in the world
because of you.
Never again
will you be left alone
For here with us
We are your home.
By Danielle Good
__________________________________________
A Single Starfish
By Loren Eiseley
One day an old man was walking along the beach. It was low tide, and the sand was littered with thousands of stranded starfish that the water had carried in and then left behind. The man began walking very carefully so as not to step on any of the beautiful creatures. Since the animals still seemed to be alive, he considered picking some of them up and putting them back in the water, where they could resume their lives.
The man knew the starfish would die if left on the beach's dry sand but he reasoned that he could not possibly help them all, so he chose to do nothing and continued walking.
Soon afterward, the man came upon a small child on the beach who was frantically throwing one starfish after another back into the sea. The old man stopped and asked the child, "What are you doing?"
"I'm saving the starfish," the child replied.
"Why waste your time?... There are so many you can't save them all so what does is matter?" argued the man.
Without hesitation, the child picked up another starfish and tossed the starfish back into the water... "It matters to this one," the child explained.
__________________________________________________________________________
A Child Like Me?
With saddened eyes and head bent low,
It's damaged goods most see.
Whith my unclear past and broken heart,
Who would want a child like me?
I watch her walk into the room.
From a distance I can see.
But dare I take a closer step?
Who would want a child like me?
And then I see her look my way.
She smiles so tenderly.
But do I even dare to dream,
She would want a child like me?
And then, as if I spoke out loud,
She approaches cautionsly.
I try so hard to once believe,
She will want a child like me.
But dare I once let down my gaurd,
And trust that she will see,
Hiding beneath this old stained shirt,
Is a beautiful child like me?
My smile, they say, lights up a room.
I'll be good as good can be.
Oh, please, dear God, let her want
A special child like me.
I feel her hand reach out for mine,
And within her eyes I see,
A single, tiny, shining tear.
Could she want a child like me?
And when she takes me in her arms,
With a warmth so pure and new,
She says the words I've prayed to hear,
"The child I want is you"
~Lisa J Schlitt
________________________________________________________________________
Not Flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone, But still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute, you didn't grow beneath my heart, but in it.
~Anonymous
________________________________________________________________________________
Source:
CafeMom
Sep 13, 2008
http://www.cafemom.com/group/3104/forums/read/5631262/Does_anybody_have_poems_or_quotes_about_foster_care
Comments from Children in Foster Care
For the parents who have considered state or foster care... I found this article that has a list of quotes from children who are in foster care. I found them very moving and I hope you too will find them moving and it will inspire and motivate you to become an advocate, activist,foster care parent, or state adoptive parent.
Comments:
"I have been in foster care for 1 year, in that year I felt like my world had come to an end and that I had no meaning in my life, but with the help from people that worked with me I have found out differently….
…. without them I wouldn’t have come to the conclusion that I am special and that I am a person who deserves to be loved."
Beatrice, Age 16
"Now, for the good times: I am finally getting to be a boy….
I am getting to start a new life as being able to do kid’s stuff like I am supposed to do." anonymous child
"I am a foster kid and I am good….Do not forget Susanna."
Susanna, Age 10
"I think that when you become an adult it’s just like a toddler you’re a caterpillar, and when you’re a kid you’re a cocoon and finally you become an adult which would be a butterfly."
Jesse, Age 9
"….We should all make our foster care family a possibility."
MeMe, Age 17
" I know how it feels to be put in a foster home….
I know it’s hard but think of it this way! You get a chance to start over. Try to fix anything you did wrong!"
Star, Age 14
" Agitating they are! They’re always there when you least expect them. They slither upon you like an emotional python. I am talking about difficult times….
Difficult times are what everybody goes through. You should take control of these times and have a good life."
Kitt, Age 12
" It’s surprising to look back at my life and think of all the times I wanted to end it, but I’m still here. I try to look to the future for comfort when I’m feeling down…."
PoemGirl, Age 17
" It’s not unusual for people to experience difficult times. Some are easier to overcome than others some pierce the heart indefinitely and some pass by quickly. The most important key is surviving them, and grow smarter from each one.
I’ve been through a lot because of this one person and it amazes me to know that JUST ONE PERSON could cause so much pain….I’ve learned a lot from what I’ve been through. I’m a whole new person….This is the most difficult thing I’ve ever been through but I’m still here. I see myself as a survivor, striving to live and be happy, I’m almost there."
L’il Moma, Age 17
" The best advice I have from one foster child to another is that you never give up….
Never think that you are worthless."
Jane, Age 10
" It is hard to realize that the people we love are the ones who can hurt us the most—but forgiving is half the healing."
Adriana, Age 16
" FAITH IS A FRAGILE THING….Faith is what keeps children going on."
Mark, Age 12
" ….at least I know that I’ve tried my hardest and have gone over so many bumps in the road and have made it through the tough times and through what I thought was impossible. That is all I can do."
Poohbear, Age 17
" What makes me weak, and I deal with it, makes me stronger. Every foster kid should know that."
Sandy, Age 16
" I will be proud when I grow up. I will be a hero….I love me."
Stephanie, Age 9
Source:
FFTA essay contest: "Circumstances Leading to Foster Care"
"QUOTES FROM CHILDREN IN TREATMENT FOSTER CARE" Pages 1-3
http://www.ffta.org/publicpolicy_advocacy/personalizeadvocacy.pdf
Food For thought---
" Not Flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone, But still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute, you didn't grow beneath my heart, but in it."
~Anonymous
Source:
CafeMom-
Foster / Adoptive Parenting / General Discussion
Sep. 13, 2008
http://www.cafemom.com/group/3104/forums/read/5631262/Does_anybody_have_poems_or_quotes_about_foster_care
Peace and blessings! :-)
Blessed Hannah
Comments:
"I have been in foster care for 1 year, in that year I felt like my world had come to an end and that I had no meaning in my life, but with the help from people that worked with me I have found out differently….
…. without them I wouldn’t have come to the conclusion that I am special and that I am a person who deserves to be loved."
Beatrice, Age 16
"Now, for the good times: I am finally getting to be a boy….
I am getting to start a new life as being able to do kid’s stuff like I am supposed to do." anonymous child
"I am a foster kid and I am good….Do not forget Susanna."
Susanna, Age 10
"I think that when you become an adult it’s just like a toddler you’re a caterpillar, and when you’re a kid you’re a cocoon and finally you become an adult which would be a butterfly."
Jesse, Age 9
"….We should all make our foster care family a possibility."
MeMe, Age 17
" I know how it feels to be put in a foster home….
I know it’s hard but think of it this way! You get a chance to start over. Try to fix anything you did wrong!"
Star, Age 14
" Agitating they are! They’re always there when you least expect them. They slither upon you like an emotional python. I am talking about difficult times….
Difficult times are what everybody goes through. You should take control of these times and have a good life."
Kitt, Age 12
" It’s surprising to look back at my life and think of all the times I wanted to end it, but I’m still here. I try to look to the future for comfort when I’m feeling down…."
PoemGirl, Age 17
" It’s not unusual for people to experience difficult times. Some are easier to overcome than others some pierce the heart indefinitely and some pass by quickly. The most important key is surviving them, and grow smarter from each one.
I’ve been through a lot because of this one person and it amazes me to know that JUST ONE PERSON could cause so much pain….I’ve learned a lot from what I’ve been through. I’m a whole new person….This is the most difficult thing I’ve ever been through but I’m still here. I see myself as a survivor, striving to live and be happy, I’m almost there."
L’il Moma, Age 17
" The best advice I have from one foster child to another is that you never give up….
Never think that you are worthless."
Jane, Age 10
" It is hard to realize that the people we love are the ones who can hurt us the most—but forgiving is half the healing."
Adriana, Age 16
" FAITH IS A FRAGILE THING….Faith is what keeps children going on."
Mark, Age 12
" ….at least I know that I’ve tried my hardest and have gone over so many bumps in the road and have made it through the tough times and through what I thought was impossible. That is all I can do."
Poohbear, Age 17
" What makes me weak, and I deal with it, makes me stronger. Every foster kid should know that."
Sandy, Age 16
" I will be proud when I grow up. I will be a hero….I love me."
Stephanie, Age 9
Source:
FFTA essay contest: "Circumstances Leading to Foster Care"
"QUOTES FROM CHILDREN IN TREATMENT FOSTER CARE" Pages 1-3
http://www.ffta.org/publicpolicy_advocacy/personalizeadvocacy.pdf
Food For thought---
" Not Flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone, But still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute, you didn't grow beneath my heart, but in it."
~Anonymous
Source:
CafeMom-
Foster / Adoptive Parenting / General Discussion
Sep. 13, 2008
http://www.cafemom.com/group/3104/forums/read/5631262/Does_anybody_have_poems_or_quotes_about_foster_care
Peace and blessings! :-)
Blessed Hannah
Our Diary: Our Conversation w/h the Social Worker
Monday---
We called the adoption social worker and we described our fears, feelings, and concerns to her. She warmly calmed our fears and described alternative methods to us concerning foster parenting. We are uncertain about older children who has been sexually or physically abused, born with AIDS, or an STD, has cancer, or another terminal illness...and we checked off NO. I was very concerned because I know we decided that we did not want an older child and we did decide upon a younger child, but we did begin to accept an older child, but when we read all the possibilities a child could have, it became so overwhelming, and so confusing that we did not know which way to check... Yes???-- No???- Maybe??? -- Considering???
We decided that we needed our social worker's advice, and we needed to hear someone who is in the field, and not friends who were giving us solid and firm advice, but, we needed to understand these behaviors and conditions of children in foster care.
We sought advice from our social worker...
The Social Worker's comments---
The social worker said the reason these children were removed from their homes is because of sexual, mental, emotional, physical abuse or neglect.
She said there is no such thing as a perfect child and when my husband begins to realize that, we can see the bigger picture and is not about raising a perfect child, because if we had our own children, there are no guarantees that this child would be perfect. ( So True!!!) So she said my husband and I need to discuss things in more detail and be upfront, up close, honest, and personal with each other, because it will take 2 people to raise these children, 2 parents who are stable and are ready at accept the responsibilty of a child together.
Foster Care/Foster-to-Adopt Concerns---
We spoke to her about foster care and she said in our state, the goal of foster care is not to place a child in the home of the foster parent nor the home of an adoptive family. The only goal is to re-connect the child with their parent(s), or other kinship, and after exhausting all of these measure, only then after all measure have been exhausted...the child will be placed for legal adoption. This does happen but not very often because our goal is if we can not place the child with his or her parents than we find the next of kin: grandparents, uncle, aunts, cousins, who are willing to take the child and are acceptable to taking to the children. She said if we become foster parents we must keep these goals in tact, and within our reason. She said if we can accept that then they really really need foster parents very very badly and they would love to for us to foster parent. BUT....she said if our main goal is to adopt...we should continue to adopt because our hearts will be broken because we can not become attached to a child who is in foster care and who is not available for adoption.
Heart <3 To Heart <3 Conversation---
She said that we need to have a deep heart to heart conversation, be serious and make a decision either we will foster-adopt ( knowing we may never adopt), straight adopt, knowing our chances are much better, but slim since adoptions are for older children and sibling groups, or we need to research an alternative method which is an agency if we are not prepared to handle a child with problems, older or sibling groups, because state adoptions are about finding a family for the child, not finding a child for the family. She was very sweet and sincere about her suggestions, comments, and it really all made sense to us. She said if we do not think we can handle children's emotional, and etc. needs in state care then state adoption is not for us and we need to consider agency adoption.
Concerns about my husband's daughter---
We expressed our concerns about my husband's daughter who has brutally said she does not want any biracial or black siblings. We know it is her mother speaking. The social worker told us we had no concerns and no problems because it is not what she wants, it is what we want and since she visits us, she does not live with us and she is not a concern to them, because she is not the adult and she will not be caring for the adoptive child or children. If we think there will be a problem with his daughter trying to hurt the adopted child or children then we need to discuss ways to keep his daughter away from the adopted child/children, or do not proceed to adopt. We know there will be no problems because my husband is firm and does not tolerate children abusing children. I am glad to know she will not do anything to hurt a sibling.
She said his daughter really should not be a problem since she does visit us and do not live with us full time and sometimes ex spouses can become very bitter. She said to no bother with them, keep our focus on what is important which is defining and considering what we want... State Adoption... or...Agency Adoption. My heart wants a state adoption, I see so many children who has needs and my heart goes out to them so dearly and so diligently... but I know my husband and I are one and we need to make a decision together that will affect and effect us both. It is not about me and it never was and it never will be about me. I want my husband and I to decide together because even though he does have children of his own, and even though the mother of the children said they do not want me in their child's life... I know this adopted child will not be mine alone...it will my husband and my child...ours, no one else, and nobody else, but his and mine...our child. I am praying that our decision is the right decision, and we feel that a year is enough to get on our feet solid and stable, and then proceed. We have a 3 bedroom house, 1 empty room.... we are waiting for God to send us a child...Just like Hannah in the bible waited, I will continue to fast and pray, and wait upon the Lord, be of good courage, and wait, like David said... on the Lord.
Update....
Comment about the Our Diary: Our Conversation w/h the Social Worker
I previously stated some things about my stepdaughter that many of you all do not understand. A lady sent me a comment that I did delete that said I was not understand my stepdaughter, but it is not like that at all. I have tried to be a good stepmother, but her mother does not want me in the picture and she does not want me in the picture because of my skin color. That said, moving on a little more... I am
nervous because my oldest step daughter does not want any adopted children or if I could have my own who are 1/2 black or all black. My husband's ex-step-father and his daughter's mother has plugged that into the child's head. I do feel sorry and bad for my stepdaughter and my husband, but my husband's family have said that things are not simple nor will they ever be with that child. That does break my heart, but his child does not live with us. I hate that things are they way they are and I wish the step kids would call me mom, but I know they don't want me to be a mom to them, it hurts!
Our Decision---
We have decided to wait a year to adopt so that we may exhaust all of our research options of state and agency adoptions, a lot of prayer ( please keep us in your prayers! :-), and after a year, we will decide what is best for us. We do know that we truly want a younger child, a child who is biracial because we are a biracial couple, and a child who is younger, not a newborn, or an infant, a child that is 8-9 months is the least we would allow, but we are considering accepting a sibling group of 2-3 children, I believe we really want at least 2 children, a boy and a girl, or 2 boys. She said we need to make sure we are stable in our decision and within our finances, and since my husband was laid off last year, it has been hard because my job search had an upside last week, I finally had another interview which I believe it went very well, and I am waiting and praying for a call back to tell me when to start work ( be in prayer for me please!).
Sites such as Adoption voices are very calming and helpful to us but we need to research more of what the experts are saying...
If you have read any books please let us know, please comment with the title, and name of the author, and we will begin to research these books and buy them.
Thank you! :-) That is all for now!!!!!!!!! :-)
Today's Food for thought---
Be a blessing, do not wait for your blessing to come to you, be a blessing to someone who is waiting on a blessing, listen to God, and be Christ like! :-)
Have a blessed day!!!!
Peace & Blessings!!!
Blessed Hannah
We called the adoption social worker and we described our fears, feelings, and concerns to her. She warmly calmed our fears and described alternative methods to us concerning foster parenting. We are uncertain about older children who has been sexually or physically abused, born with AIDS, or an STD, has cancer, or another terminal illness...and we checked off NO. I was very concerned because I know we decided that we did not want an older child and we did decide upon a younger child, but we did begin to accept an older child, but when we read all the possibilities a child could have, it became so overwhelming, and so confusing that we did not know which way to check... Yes???-- No???- Maybe??? -- Considering???
We decided that we needed our social worker's advice, and we needed to hear someone who is in the field, and not friends who were giving us solid and firm advice, but, we needed to understand these behaviors and conditions of children in foster care.
We sought advice from our social worker...
The Social Worker's comments---
The social worker said the reason these children were removed from their homes is because of sexual, mental, emotional, physical abuse or neglect.
She said there is no such thing as a perfect child and when my husband begins to realize that, we can see the bigger picture and is not about raising a perfect child, because if we had our own children, there are no guarantees that this child would be perfect. ( So True!!!) So she said my husband and I need to discuss things in more detail and be upfront, up close, honest, and personal with each other, because it will take 2 people to raise these children, 2 parents who are stable and are ready at accept the responsibilty of a child together.
Foster Care/Foster-to-Adopt Concerns---
We spoke to her about foster care and she said in our state, the goal of foster care is not to place a child in the home of the foster parent nor the home of an adoptive family. The only goal is to re-connect the child with their parent(s), or other kinship, and after exhausting all of these measure, only then after all measure have been exhausted...the child will be placed for legal adoption. This does happen but not very often because our goal is if we can not place the child with his or her parents than we find the next of kin: grandparents, uncle, aunts, cousins, who are willing to take the child and are acceptable to taking to the children. She said if we become foster parents we must keep these goals in tact, and within our reason. She said if we can accept that then they really really need foster parents very very badly and they would love to for us to foster parent. BUT....she said if our main goal is to adopt...we should continue to adopt because our hearts will be broken because we can not become attached to a child who is in foster care and who is not available for adoption.
Heart <3 To Heart <3 Conversation---
She said that we need to have a deep heart to heart conversation, be serious and make a decision either we will foster-adopt ( knowing we may never adopt), straight adopt, knowing our chances are much better, but slim since adoptions are for older children and sibling groups, or we need to research an alternative method which is an agency if we are not prepared to handle a child with problems, older or sibling groups, because state adoptions are about finding a family for the child, not finding a child for the family. She was very sweet and sincere about her suggestions, comments, and it really all made sense to us. She said if we do not think we can handle children's emotional, and etc. needs in state care then state adoption is not for us and we need to consider agency adoption.
Concerns about my husband's daughter---
We expressed our concerns about my husband's daughter who has brutally said she does not want any biracial or black siblings. We know it is her mother speaking. The social worker told us we had no concerns and no problems because it is not what she wants, it is what we want and since she visits us, she does not live with us and she is not a concern to them, because she is not the adult and she will not be caring for the adoptive child or children. If we think there will be a problem with his daughter trying to hurt the adopted child or children then we need to discuss ways to keep his daughter away from the adopted child/children, or do not proceed to adopt. We know there will be no problems because my husband is firm and does not tolerate children abusing children. I am glad to know she will not do anything to hurt a sibling.
She said his daughter really should not be a problem since she does visit us and do not live with us full time and sometimes ex spouses can become very bitter. She said to no bother with them, keep our focus on what is important which is defining and considering what we want... State Adoption... or...Agency Adoption. My heart wants a state adoption, I see so many children who has needs and my heart goes out to them so dearly and so diligently... but I know my husband and I are one and we need to make a decision together that will affect and effect us both. It is not about me and it never was and it never will be about me. I want my husband and I to decide together because even though he does have children of his own, and even though the mother of the children said they do not want me in their child's life... I know this adopted child will not be mine alone...it will my husband and my child...ours, no one else, and nobody else, but his and mine...our child. I am praying that our decision is the right decision, and we feel that a year is enough to get on our feet solid and stable, and then proceed. We have a 3 bedroom house, 1 empty room.... we are waiting for God to send us a child...Just like Hannah in the bible waited, I will continue to fast and pray, and wait upon the Lord, be of good courage, and wait, like David said... on the Lord.
Update....
Comment about the Our Diary: Our Conversation w/h the Social Worker
I previously stated some things about my stepdaughter that many of you all do not understand. A lady sent me a comment that I did delete that said I was not understand my stepdaughter, but it is not like that at all. I have tried to be a good stepmother, but her mother does not want me in the picture and she does not want me in the picture because of my skin color. That said, moving on a little more... I am
nervous because my oldest step daughter does not want any adopted children or if I could have my own who are 1/2 black or all black. My husband's ex-step-father and his daughter's mother has plugged that into the child's head. I do feel sorry and bad for my stepdaughter and my husband, but my husband's family have said that things are not simple nor will they ever be with that child. That does break my heart, but his child does not live with us. I hate that things are they way they are and I wish the step kids would call me mom, but I know they don't want me to be a mom to them, it hurts!
Our Decision---
We have decided to wait a year to adopt so that we may exhaust all of our research options of state and agency adoptions, a lot of prayer ( please keep us in your prayers! :-), and after a year, we will decide what is best for us. We do know that we truly want a younger child, a child who is biracial because we are a biracial couple, and a child who is younger, not a newborn, or an infant, a child that is 8-9 months is the least we would allow, but we are considering accepting a sibling group of 2-3 children, I believe we really want at least 2 children, a boy and a girl, or 2 boys. She said we need to make sure we are stable in our decision and within our finances, and since my husband was laid off last year, it has been hard because my job search had an upside last week, I finally had another interview which I believe it went very well, and I am waiting and praying for a call back to tell me when to start work ( be in prayer for me please!).
Sites such as Adoption voices are very calming and helpful to us but we need to research more of what the experts are saying...
If you have read any books please let us know, please comment with the title, and name of the author, and we will begin to research these books and buy them.
Thank you! :-) That is all for now!!!!!!!!! :-)
Today's Food for thought---
Be a blessing, do not wait for your blessing to come to you, be a blessing to someone who is waiting on a blessing, listen to God, and be Christ like! :-)
Have a blessed day!!!!
Peace & Blessings!!!
Blessed Hannah
Friday, August 21, 2009
Fears of being a Foster-adopt parent
Some of our wise friends have gave us strong wisdom and advice of parenting. They told us to foster in order to learn about the welfare of the children, where they came from, what they are dealing with, the pressures, and conflicts that may arise with children who are in the foster care system. She said it would be very wise of us to do so instead of adopting because with adopting we can not send the child back if there are too many problems with a child. But with fostering we see the problems and we can decide if we want this or not.
I understand clearly but I do not know if I am being naive or if I am being compassionate, or silly... I want to be there for a child, and parent,of course I am not a parent as my husband is. I am confused because I do not want to foster a child that I have become so attached to and the child is reunited with his parents. ( Thi is the ultimate goal which we know this and that is why we are not ready for the foster parent role.) We would rather adopt a child that is legally free and ready to come to a great home with great and loving parents.
The question is... Am I being too naive????? Should I foster parent to adopt if the child become available to adopt.... or wait and wait, to adopt the child we are looking for ( age 18 months-3 years of age) ?????
We are praying about this! We seek counsel of Godly people, please leave comments about your story.
Thank you!!! :-)
Today's Food for Thought--
A Child Like Me?
With saddened eyes and head bent low,
It's damaged goods most see.
Whith my unclear past and broken heart,
Who would want a child like me?
I watch her walk into the room.
From a distance I can see.
But dare I take a closer step?
Who would want a child like me?
And then I see her look my way.
She smiles so tenderly.
But do I even dare to dream,
She would want a child like me?
And then, as if I spoke out loud,
She approaches cautionsly.
I try so hard to once believe,
She will want a child like me.
But dare I once let down my gaurd,
And trust that she will see,
Hiding beneath this old stained shirt,
Is a beautiful child like me?
My smile, they say, lights up a room.
I'll be good as good can be.
Oh, please, dear God, let her want
A special child like me.
I feel her hand reach out for mine,
And within her eyes I see,
A single, tiny, shining tear.
Could she want a child like me?
And when she takes me in her arms,
With a warmth so pure and new,
She says the words I've prayed to hear,
"The child I want is you"
~Lisa J Schlitt
Source:
~Lisa J Schlitt
Sep. 13, 2008
http://www.cafemom.com/group/3104/forums/read/5631262/Does_anybody_have_poems_or_quotes_about_foster_care
Peace and blessings!!!
Blessed Hannah
I understand clearly but I do not know if I am being naive or if I am being compassionate, or silly... I want to be there for a child, and parent,of course I am not a parent as my husband is. I am confused because I do not want to foster a child that I have become so attached to and the child is reunited with his parents. ( Thi is the ultimate goal which we know this and that is why we are not ready for the foster parent role.) We would rather adopt a child that is legally free and ready to come to a great home with great and loving parents.
The question is... Am I being too naive????? Should I foster parent to adopt if the child become available to adopt.... or wait and wait, to adopt the child we are looking for ( age 18 months-3 years of age) ?????
We are praying about this! We seek counsel of Godly people, please leave comments about your story.
Thank you!!! :-)
Today's Food for Thought--
A Child Like Me?
With saddened eyes and head bent low,
It's damaged goods most see.
Whith my unclear past and broken heart,
Who would want a child like me?
I watch her walk into the room.
From a distance I can see.
But dare I take a closer step?
Who would want a child like me?
And then I see her look my way.
She smiles so tenderly.
But do I even dare to dream,
She would want a child like me?
And then, as if I spoke out loud,
She approaches cautionsly.
I try so hard to once believe,
She will want a child like me.
But dare I once let down my gaurd,
And trust that she will see,
Hiding beneath this old stained shirt,
Is a beautiful child like me?
My smile, they say, lights up a room.
I'll be good as good can be.
Oh, please, dear God, let her want
A special child like me.
I feel her hand reach out for mine,
And within her eyes I see,
A single, tiny, shining tear.
Could she want a child like me?
And when she takes me in her arms,
With a warmth so pure and new,
She says the words I've prayed to hear,
"The child I want is you"
~Lisa J Schlitt
Source:
~Lisa J Schlitt
Sep. 13, 2008
http://www.cafemom.com/group/3104/forums/read/5631262/Does_anybody_have_poems_or_quotes_about_foster_care
Peace and blessings!!!
Blessed Hannah
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Tasks Completed... so far...
We are making progress as we check things off the checklist...
1. Complete the adoption application...( 7 pages)...
So far... 2 pages left to complete...
2. Background check request ( 1page)...
COMPLETE!!!! :-)
3. Fingerprint process...
Completed at the Sequoyah County Sheriff's office today... YEAH!.. Completed!!!
So far, today we had a our background checks completed, we had to go to Sallisaw,Oklahoma to have our fingerprints digitally photographed and scanned. A very interesting and cool procedure that I enjoyed learning about and participating in.
Okay... Only One Complaint about this...
The only thing I did not like what when they asked about race...they asked my husband if he was White or Indian, but they selected Black for my race, and they selected black for my hair and brown for my eyes. They did not question me about my race, hair color, or my eye color.I am a multiracial woman who does not have black hair or brown eyes if one looked at me and could tell, but needless to say, diversity still should be a subject taught early in elementary. People are different but no matter what we are the same under our pigmentation, or lack of pigmenatation. But I really do think the people did not mean any harm to me at all, I do realize and know they are asking questions that their job has created, thus, they must ask, it is apart of the script.
I wish I had been able to identify myself and not allow them to identify me since I am a declared multiracial woman.
Moving ON!!!...
Any who... YEAH for us!!!!!
Next stop... completing this application and making sure we have everything completed so it will not come back to bite us later! :-)
Kudos to us!
Until Next time...
Peace, Blessings unto you, and unto yours!
Blessed Hannah
1. Complete the adoption application...( 7 pages)...
So far... 2 pages left to complete...
2. Background check request ( 1page)...
COMPLETE!!!! :-)
3. Fingerprint process...
Completed at the Sequoyah County Sheriff's office today... YEAH!.. Completed!!!
So far, today we had a our background checks completed, we had to go to Sallisaw,Oklahoma to have our fingerprints digitally photographed and scanned. A very interesting and cool procedure that I enjoyed learning about and participating in.
Okay... Only One Complaint about this...
The only thing I did not like what when they asked about race...they asked my husband if he was White or Indian, but they selected Black for my race, and they selected black for my hair and brown for my eyes. They did not question me about my race, hair color, or my eye color.I am a multiracial woman who does not have black hair or brown eyes if one looked at me and could tell, but needless to say, diversity still should be a subject taught early in elementary. People are different but no matter what we are the same under our pigmentation, or lack of pigmenatation. But I really do think the people did not mean any harm to me at all, I do realize and know they are asking questions that their job has created, thus, they must ask, it is apart of the script.
I wish I had been able to identify myself and not allow them to identify me since I am a declared multiracial woman.
Moving ON!!!...
Any who... YEAH for us!!!!!
Next stop... completing this application and making sure we have everything completed so it will not come back to bite us later! :-)
Kudos to us!
Until Next time...
Peace, Blessings unto you, and unto yours!
Blessed Hannah
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Culture, Heritage and Stereotypes
Culture, Heritage and Stereotypes in Adoption
All adopted children have both a culture and a heritage. At the point of adoption, most children will change their culture, but not their heritage. Even a child adopted within the United States is most likely changing from one subset of American culture to another. Moving from a Texan or a Korean foster home may involve just as much "culture shock" when the final destination is a Wisconsin dairy farm.
Adopted children bring to their new family their own heritage. In most cases, their heritage will be different from that of the family. Although children will learn, more or less successfully, the culture of their adoptive family, they cannot unlearn or change their heritage. No matter how well the new community accepts an adopted child, that difference will always remain. No matter how much self-esteem the child has, he or she will always be fighting the stereotypes imposed by his or her heritage. How successfully the child changes others' opinion depends on what the child knows and feels about his or her own heritage.
What is culture?
Culture is what tells you how to live your life. Culture defines what you expect to eat for breakfast, how you address your boss or your teacher, how close to stand to your friends, how to sit in a chair. Culture involves values. Culture tells you whether your family or your job is more important, who would be a good choice for a marriage partner, and how much skin you can decently expose at the swimming pool.
You learn culture by living it. Depending on the values of your culture, you may lose your job because of your dyed purple hair or you may be considered a valued eccentric who brings a fresh whiff of creativity. You can change your culture (with effort) by living in another culture. The older you are, the harder it is to live successfully in a new culture just because you have so many years of cultural education to unlearn.
What is heritage?
Heritage is what belongs to you by virtue of your birth. Heritage includes your genetic background, physical features, and ethnic origin; it includes the history of the people who share those features with you. Heritage consists only of facts, but one's culture may place more or less value on those facts. Whether or not you know or care anything about your heritage, it belongs to you.
Classifying a person solely by heritage is what we call stereotyping. For example, when meeting a Japanese person, there is an almost irresistible urge to assign to that person the characteristics we perceive as "Japanese," such as obedience, industry, interest in computers, and lack of humor. However, if that Japanese person was born and raised in Iowa, he or she might be a lot more interested in corn farming and Saturday Night Live than in electronics or raw fish. Stereotyping unfairly assigns a person a culture based on his or her heritage alone. It's the same as considering a young woman air-headed (culture) based on her genetic heritage (blonde hair).
If you are not teaching your child positive things about his or her heritage, where do you think your child is going to learn them? You can depend on the outside world to tell him everything bad, but the good stuff just doesn't make the headlines. As I learned in a malpractice course recently,
"Good things have to be planned. Bad things happen all by themselves."
Our parental role
What about your child's culture? As adoptive parents, you cannot expect to maintain your child's culture. It is impossible to teach another culture unless you are living it. Every immigrant group in the United States has mourned the loss of cultural values as their children become Americanized. Only very isolated groups such as the Amish are moderately successful in maintaining a culture different than the surrounding community.
As adoptive parents, the best we can hope to do is learn as much as possible about our child's culture. This is not our children's job; we parents have to do it. We may not embrace the values of our child's birth culture, but we can discover what those values are and show our child why those ideas existed in that time and place.
Learning about culture is hard, especially when you don't have somebody from that culture to help you out. Some of the things parents can do are find adult friends, read novels and stories from the culture, attend services of the religion of the culture. Family reunions, religious meetings, and film festivals are where your children will learn what people think and how they act.
Many of us have no access to our child's culture, or we may be too threatened by its values to explore it further. However, as adoptive parents, we are obligated to help our children discover their heritage. If you wait for the media, the kid down the block, the admissions counselor at college, or your child's prospective employer to
"educate" your child, your son or daughter is in for a lot of unhappiness. Find out the good stuff; give your child a foundation of pride so he can refute or ignore the bad stuff that is sure to come later.
Parents can teach heritage at home, but it takes conscious effort and it's work when you first start out. However, you might find yourself absorbed in a completely new hobby, such as my current obsession with fabrics of Asian design. As one of my daughters commented, observing the piles in my sewing room,
'You must be very sad, Mom, because you will never be "Indian!"
Jerri Ann Jenista, M.D., adoptive mother of five, is raising her children in an Italian-Indian-American Catholic single-parent, medically-oriented, cat-dominated culture.
© Adoptive Families Magazine
Credits: Jerri Ann Jenista, M.D.
Website: http://library.adoption.com/articles/culture-heritage-and-stereotypes-.html
Have a blessed day!!!!
Blessed Hannah
All adopted children have both a culture and a heritage. At the point of adoption, most children will change their culture, but not their heritage. Even a child adopted within the United States is most likely changing from one subset of American culture to another. Moving from a Texan or a Korean foster home may involve just as much "culture shock" when the final destination is a Wisconsin dairy farm.
Adopted children bring to their new family their own heritage. In most cases, their heritage will be different from that of the family. Although children will learn, more or less successfully, the culture of their adoptive family, they cannot unlearn or change their heritage. No matter how well the new community accepts an adopted child, that difference will always remain. No matter how much self-esteem the child has, he or she will always be fighting the stereotypes imposed by his or her heritage. How successfully the child changes others' opinion depends on what the child knows and feels about his or her own heritage.
What is culture?
Culture is what tells you how to live your life. Culture defines what you expect to eat for breakfast, how you address your boss or your teacher, how close to stand to your friends, how to sit in a chair. Culture involves values. Culture tells you whether your family or your job is more important, who would be a good choice for a marriage partner, and how much skin you can decently expose at the swimming pool.
You learn culture by living it. Depending on the values of your culture, you may lose your job because of your dyed purple hair or you may be considered a valued eccentric who brings a fresh whiff of creativity. You can change your culture (with effort) by living in another culture. The older you are, the harder it is to live successfully in a new culture just because you have so many years of cultural education to unlearn.
What is heritage?
Heritage is what belongs to you by virtue of your birth. Heritage includes your genetic background, physical features, and ethnic origin; it includes the history of the people who share those features with you. Heritage consists only of facts, but one's culture may place more or less value on those facts. Whether or not you know or care anything about your heritage, it belongs to you.
Classifying a person solely by heritage is what we call stereotyping. For example, when meeting a Japanese person, there is an almost irresistible urge to assign to that person the characteristics we perceive as "Japanese," such as obedience, industry, interest in computers, and lack of humor. However, if that Japanese person was born and raised in Iowa, he or she might be a lot more interested in corn farming and Saturday Night Live than in electronics or raw fish. Stereotyping unfairly assigns a person a culture based on his or her heritage alone. It's the same as considering a young woman air-headed (culture) based on her genetic heritage (blonde hair).
If you are not teaching your child positive things about his or her heritage, where do you think your child is going to learn them? You can depend on the outside world to tell him everything bad, but the good stuff just doesn't make the headlines. As I learned in a malpractice course recently,
"Good things have to be planned. Bad things happen all by themselves."
Our parental role
What about your child's culture? As adoptive parents, you cannot expect to maintain your child's culture. It is impossible to teach another culture unless you are living it. Every immigrant group in the United States has mourned the loss of cultural values as their children become Americanized. Only very isolated groups such as the Amish are moderately successful in maintaining a culture different than the surrounding community.
As adoptive parents, the best we can hope to do is learn as much as possible about our child's culture. This is not our children's job; we parents have to do it. We may not embrace the values of our child's birth culture, but we can discover what those values are and show our child why those ideas existed in that time and place.
Learning about culture is hard, especially when you don't have somebody from that culture to help you out. Some of the things parents can do are find adult friends, read novels and stories from the culture, attend services of the religion of the culture. Family reunions, religious meetings, and film festivals are where your children will learn what people think and how they act.
Many of us have no access to our child's culture, or we may be too threatened by its values to explore it further. However, as adoptive parents, we are obligated to help our children discover their heritage. If you wait for the media, the kid down the block, the admissions counselor at college, or your child's prospective employer to
"educate" your child, your son or daughter is in for a lot of unhappiness. Find out the good stuff; give your child a foundation of pride so he can refute or ignore the bad stuff that is sure to come later.
Parents can teach heritage at home, but it takes conscious effort and it's work when you first start out. However, you might find yourself absorbed in a completely new hobby, such as my current obsession with fabrics of Asian design. As one of my daughters commented, observing the piles in my sewing room,
'You must be very sad, Mom, because you will never be "Indian!"
Jerri Ann Jenista, M.D., adoptive mother of five, is raising her children in an Italian-Indian-American Catholic single-parent, medically-oriented, cat-dominated culture.
© Adoptive Families Magazine
Credits: Jerri Ann Jenista, M.D.
Website: http://library.adoption.com/articles/culture-heritage-and-stereotypes-.html
Have a blessed day!!!!
Blessed Hannah
i carry your heart by E.E. Cummings
Our favorite poem that we keep in our hearts as we progress through this process...
i carry your heart
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
Written by E.E. Cummmings
Blessed Hannah
i carry your heart
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
Written by E.E. Cummmings
Blessed Hannah
Friday, July 31, 2009
Vouchers came today!!!!
Our Background check vouchers came in the mail today!!! Wooo Hoo!!
That saves us 20.00, it may sound like 20.00 is not much, but it is quite a bit when we will have to do the physical examination, and I am not sure how that will go, we moved to a new area and have new doctors.
For the moment, I will REJOICE!!!!!!! :-)
Have a blessed day!
Blessed Hannah
That saves us 20.00, it may sound like 20.00 is not much, but it is quite a bit when we will have to do the physical examination, and I am not sure how that will go, we moved to a new area and have new doctors.
For the moment, I will REJOICE!!!!!!! :-)
Have a blessed day!
Blessed Hannah
We Received the Application!!!
We received the application!!!
We are beginning the process on the application as I type this blog, and we have three forms to complete for Oklahoma DHS:
1. The Application
2. The Adoption Assessment Form
3. The Background Check Forms ( 2) - 1/ spouse
My husband and I have almost completed the application, the background check form has been completed, and we have began the adoption assessment form. We are also going to include an autobiogrpahy on each our childhoods, an essay on our parenting style, and how we will work together with children.
My husband normally beats me to the mail box everyday in hopes of the application and last week he beat me to the mail and we were not sure of filling it out, it was overwhelming with so many questions, but after we calmed down, and began to relax, we answered the questions to the best of our ability.
We are so excited and we have began to look at websites to see children who are in the system whose parents have terminated their rights and are legally ready to adopt.
We found 4 boys in Arkansas but we know we can not adopt across state lines, we wish the boys were here in Oklahoma, they are legally ready to adopt, they are so cute and precious, ages 18mos-6years of age. I have learned that when I become stressed out to do this....
" Relax your mind, let the negativity flow away from your mind, allow the positive thoughts to increase, meditate upon the goodness of God, and repeat quietly..." His mercy endures forever... His mercy endures forever... His mercy endures forever...The God I serve is awesome and he can handle every problem I have, the battle does not belong to me, it belongs to him, victory belongs to him. Satan has been defeated!!!!"
---Blessed Hannah
Have a blessed Friday and a blessed week-end!!!!!!!!!
Be blessed in the name of Jesus!
Blessed Hannah
We are beginning the process on the application as I type this blog, and we have three forms to complete for Oklahoma DHS:
1. The Application
2. The Adoption Assessment Form
3. The Background Check Forms ( 2) - 1/ spouse
My husband and I have almost completed the application, the background check form has been completed, and we have began the adoption assessment form. We are also going to include an autobiogrpahy on each our childhoods, an essay on our parenting style, and how we will work together with children.
My husband normally beats me to the mail box everyday in hopes of the application and last week he beat me to the mail and we were not sure of filling it out, it was overwhelming with so many questions, but after we calmed down, and began to relax, we answered the questions to the best of our ability.
We are so excited and we have began to look at websites to see children who are in the system whose parents have terminated their rights and are legally ready to adopt.
We found 4 boys in Arkansas but we know we can not adopt across state lines, we wish the boys were here in Oklahoma, they are legally ready to adopt, they are so cute and precious, ages 18mos-6years of age. I have learned that when I become stressed out to do this....
" Relax your mind, let the negativity flow away from your mind, allow the positive thoughts to increase, meditate upon the goodness of God, and repeat quietly..." His mercy endures forever... His mercy endures forever... His mercy endures forever...The God I serve is awesome and he can handle every problem I have, the battle does not belong to me, it belongs to him, victory belongs to him. Satan has been defeated!!!!"
---Blessed Hannah
Have a blessed Friday and a blessed week-end!!!!!!!!!
Be blessed in the name of Jesus!
Blessed Hannah
Friday, July 24, 2009
Perfect parent????
Fear of rejection...
We are waiting for the application to arrive, but I can not help but to have fear of rejection and I know that will hurt my heart even so much more than...anything...
The waiting game is odd for me in this case because I feel like it is saying you are a perfect parent, or you are not fit to be a parent.
Maybe I am wrong for saying this but this is how I feel, and I really hope there are others who feel the same way who have been there with these same feelings too. I am so ready to be a mother and I know motherhood does not define anyone, but after all I have been through, I know I will be a good mother and I am excited about being a mother. Yes, I do have some fears like all first time mothers do, but I know I have my family and my husband's family to help me a long and my husband will be great help because he has children, so I will be okay.
This fear of rejection is giving me a headache and I need to stop worrying because I know worry is one of Satan's tools. I am waiting to complete the application... lol...pre-application jitters??? I guess, so I guess then it will be okay after the application is complete,???? I hope I do not have application jitters. lol
Blessed Hannah
We are waiting for the application to arrive, but I can not help but to have fear of rejection and I know that will hurt my heart even so much more than...anything...
The waiting game is odd for me in this case because I feel like it is saying you are a perfect parent, or you are not fit to be a parent.
Maybe I am wrong for saying this but this is how I feel, and I really hope there are others who feel the same way who have been there with these same feelings too. I am so ready to be a mother and I know motherhood does not define anyone, but after all I have been through, I know I will be a good mother and I am excited about being a mother. Yes, I do have some fears like all first time mothers do, but I know I have my family and my husband's family to help me a long and my husband will be great help because he has children, so I will be okay.
This fear of rejection is giving me a headache and I need to stop worrying because I know worry is one of Satan's tools. I am waiting to complete the application... lol...pre-application jitters??? I guess, so I guess then it will be okay after the application is complete,???? I hope I do not have application jitters. lol
Blessed Hannah
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Update!-- Contact Made!!!--The Ball is Rolling! :-)
July 20th, 2009---
OKDHS contacted us,but we were not home! :-( , but we were advised to return their call
Wednesday from 8am-10:30a.m.
July 21st, 2009
8 a.m. SHARP! :-)
I contacted OKDHS and spoke to our supervising caseworker and she reviewed the OKDHS requirements, and she did advise me that most of their children are ages 6 and up whose parents have permanently terminated their rights to them, however they do have sibling groups in which a child is younger, but sibling groups are as they are, and they do not split these group, GREAT! I am so happy, I love when siblings remain together! :-)
There is an application packet and process that we will go through that includes:
--Physical/ Mental Exam
--FBI/ Local/ State Background check
--Attend 27 hours of pre-service training
--Meet other Bridge Resource Family Requirements
*such as the age requirement of 21yrs-55 yrs of age
*OKDHS Record Search
*Legal Oklahoma Residents
*Vehicle + Telephone
*Family Assessment
* Other things may be found at the OKDHS website
Our training will be in the Sallisaw or Poteau, Oklahoma area, and it is normally an accelerated course which is 41/2 hours on Saturdays, or it may be 1-2 nights per week in other areas.
Pre-interview/ Safety Check--
Our supervising caseworker will come to our home and inspect our home, meet with my husband and I, give us a preview of what People, Inc, will will be looking for, and want, and she will tell us what we need to do to prepare for our home study. This is also known as a safety check which will be completed during our home assessment.
Home Study--
The adoptive assessment may take 90 days at max to complete, the company who completes the adoptive assessment is People, Inc. It may be completed in a speedier fashion if both prospective adoptive parents are at home at the same time for the home assessment/interview; 6 References are needed and they need to make sure they are available so when the People, Inc. call to verify our references, it will be recorded, and completed much quicker, so we need to make sure our references will do the best they can to ensure they are available to answer any request or verify any questions about my husband and I as prospective parents. This will help People, Inc, speed things up quickly!
Norman, OK--
In Norman, Ok our supervising caseworker said she will go there once the month and review families ( finding families for children), what they do is... they assess a child by his or her needs, and the age of a child to find a family for a child.
Six times per year they hold Oklahoma Adoptive Parties which allow prospective adoptive parents and families to meet, greet, and speak to the adoptive children, their foster parents, and the OKDHS staff. This party allows the adoptive parents to learn more about the child and understand the child since it may be scary to read about a child on paper, after meeting the child, it helps adoptive parents to be assured and notice this is a child who needs a loving home.
Oklahoma DHS has several areas, and in my husband and I's we are in Area 5.
Selection Process--
An OKC social worker will make the decisions on finding the families for the children. We need to make a wider acceptance of age that means we have more of a chance to adopt, but it is suggested to ensure that is what we want since we know what we can or can not handle. Pre-service training helps adoptive parents to learn more about what is expected, parenting classes, and how to cope and assist with children with special needs.
Thus Far--
All we need to start is the application packet ( which the supervising case worker placed in the mail today, and we should receive it by next week.)
1. We will complete the Application
2. Background checks ( FBI, Local & State Fingerprints)
* Tip*--We learned that the electronic prints are a lot better than paper and will scan quicker and does not decline as quick as the paper fingerprint method.
We will travel to Sallisaw, Oklahoma, which is 30-35 minutes away from our home for our background checks.
3. Our area provides us a voucher to pay for the background checks.. Yay!!! but since the people who issue the vouchers are in our area today, Yay!!!, but they are in a meeting, our vouchers will be mailed to us by Friday at the most.
So that is it all in a nutshell!
We will keep you all updated with new posts as we complete everything! Yay!!!!
The ball is rolling!!! Contact was made! We made the first step!!!
( Well it may not be the first step...but we made contact :-)
Second step...complete application and BKG(background)checks.
Romans 8:28 (New International Version)
More Than Conquerors
28And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,[a] who[b] have been called according to his purpose.
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=52&chapter=8&verse=28
More to come later!!! :-)
Be a blessing, be blessed, and love one another as Christ has loved us!!!
In Christ,
Blessed Hannah
OKDHS contacted us,but we were not home! :-( , but we were advised to return their call
Wednesday from 8am-10:30a.m.
July 21st, 2009
8 a.m. SHARP! :-)
I contacted OKDHS and spoke to our supervising caseworker and she reviewed the OKDHS requirements, and she did advise me that most of their children are ages 6 and up whose parents have permanently terminated their rights to them, however they do have sibling groups in which a child is younger, but sibling groups are as they are, and they do not split these group, GREAT! I am so happy, I love when siblings remain together! :-)
There is an application packet and process that we will go through that includes:
--Physical/ Mental Exam
--FBI/ Local/ State Background check
--Attend 27 hours of pre-service training
--Meet other Bridge Resource Family Requirements
*such as the age requirement of 21yrs-55 yrs of age
*OKDHS Record Search
*Legal Oklahoma Residents
*Vehicle + Telephone
*Family Assessment
* Other things may be found at the OKDHS website
Our training will be in the Sallisaw or Poteau, Oklahoma area, and it is normally an accelerated course which is 41/2 hours on Saturdays, or it may be 1-2 nights per week in other areas.
Pre-interview/ Safety Check--
Our supervising caseworker will come to our home and inspect our home, meet with my husband and I, give us a preview of what People, Inc, will will be looking for, and want, and she will tell us what we need to do to prepare for our home study. This is also known as a safety check which will be completed during our home assessment.
Home Study--
The adoptive assessment may take 90 days at max to complete, the company who completes the adoptive assessment is People, Inc. It may be completed in a speedier fashion if both prospective adoptive parents are at home at the same time for the home assessment/interview; 6 References are needed and they need to make sure they are available so when the People, Inc. call to verify our references, it will be recorded, and completed much quicker, so we need to make sure our references will do the best they can to ensure they are available to answer any request or verify any questions about my husband and I as prospective parents. This will help People, Inc, speed things up quickly!
Norman, OK--
In Norman, Ok our supervising caseworker said she will go there once the month and review families ( finding families for children), what they do is... they assess a child by his or her needs, and the age of a child to find a family for a child.
Six times per year they hold Oklahoma Adoptive Parties which allow prospective adoptive parents and families to meet, greet, and speak to the adoptive children, their foster parents, and the OKDHS staff. This party allows the adoptive parents to learn more about the child and understand the child since it may be scary to read about a child on paper, after meeting the child, it helps adoptive parents to be assured and notice this is a child who needs a loving home.
Oklahoma DHS has several areas, and in my husband and I's we are in Area 5.
Selection Process--
An OKC social worker will make the decisions on finding the families for the children. We need to make a wider acceptance of age that means we have more of a chance to adopt, but it is suggested to ensure that is what we want since we know what we can or can not handle. Pre-service training helps adoptive parents to learn more about what is expected, parenting classes, and how to cope and assist with children with special needs.
Thus Far--
All we need to start is the application packet ( which the supervising case worker placed in the mail today, and we should receive it by next week.)
1. We will complete the Application
2. Background checks ( FBI, Local & State Fingerprints)
* Tip*--We learned that the electronic prints are a lot better than paper and will scan quicker and does not decline as quick as the paper fingerprint method.
We will travel to Sallisaw, Oklahoma, which is 30-35 minutes away from our home for our background checks.
3. Our area provides us a voucher to pay for the background checks.. Yay!!! but since the people who issue the vouchers are in our area today, Yay!!!, but they are in a meeting, our vouchers will be mailed to us by Friday at the most.
So that is it all in a nutshell!
We will keep you all updated with new posts as we complete everything! Yay!!!!
The ball is rolling!!! Contact was made! We made the first step!!!
( Well it may not be the first step...but we made contact :-)
Second step...complete application and BKG(background)checks.
Romans 8:28 (New International Version)
More Than Conquerors
28And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,[a] who[b] have been called according to his purpose.
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=52&chapter=8&verse=28
More to come later!!! :-)
Be a blessing, be blessed, and love one another as Christ has loved us!!!
In Christ,
Blessed Hannah
Monday, July 20, 2009
Contact!!!!
We contacted our local DHS and they sent us an inquiry letter and we have been assigned a lady to speak to. We tried to make contact but she was out of her office and will be out of her office until this Thursday. We are optimistic and we hope everything goes well. We are preparing to gather everything that we need to know or do so that we will be able to ask questions and be comfortable. We spoke to a caseworker and she told us to call and speak to the caseworker that has been assigned to our area and request an adoption application package. She also told us that we should be interested in Foster-Adopt, and to join local and national adoption social sites to learn from individuals who have experience and may be able to be a support group for us as well.
So... we wait...but we wait with patience for King David said in psalms..." Wait, and be of good courage...wait I said on the Lord!"
Blessed Hannah!
So... we wait...but we wait with patience for King David said in psalms..." Wait, and be of good courage...wait I said on the Lord!"
Blessed Hannah!
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Hannah's Prayer
Hannah's prayer.
Hannah mingled tears with her prayers; she considered the mercy of our God, who knows the troubled soul. God gives us leave, in prayer, not only to ask good things in general, but to mention that special good thing we most need and desire. She spoke softly, none could hear her. Hereby she testified her belief of God's knowledge of the heart and its desires. Eli was high priest, and judge in Israel. It ill becomes us to be rash and hasty in censures of others, and to think people
guilty of bad things while the matter is doubtful and unproved. Hannah did not retort the charge, and upbraid Eli with the wicked conduct of his own sons. When we are at any time unjustly censured, we have need to set a double watch before the door of our lips, that we do not return censure for censure. Hannah thought it enough to clear herself, and so must we. Eli was willing to acknowledge his mistake. Hannah went away with satisfaction of mind. She had herself by prayer committed her case to
God, and Eli had prayed for her. Prayer is heart's ease to a gracious soul. Prayer will smooth the countenance; it should do so. None will long remain miserable, who use aright the privilege of going to the mercy-seat of a reconciled God in Christ Jesus. (1Sa 1:19-28)
Source: Bible Gateway.com
http://www.biblegateway.com/resources/commentaries/index.php?action=getCommentaryText&cid=26&source=2&seq=i.9.1.2
In Christ,
Blessed Hannah
Hannah mingled tears with her prayers; she considered the mercy of our God, who knows the troubled soul. God gives us leave, in prayer, not only to ask good things in general, but to mention that special good thing we most need and desire. She spoke softly, none could hear her. Hereby she testified her belief of God's knowledge of the heart and its desires. Eli was high priest, and judge in Israel. It ill becomes us to be rash and hasty in censures of others, and to think people
guilty of bad things while the matter is doubtful and unproved. Hannah did not retort the charge, and upbraid Eli with the wicked conduct of his own sons. When we are at any time unjustly censured, we have need to set a double watch before the door of our lips, that we do not return censure for censure. Hannah thought it enough to clear herself, and so must we. Eli was willing to acknowledge his mistake. Hannah went away with satisfaction of mind. She had herself by prayer committed her case to
God, and Eli had prayed for her. Prayer is heart's ease to a gracious soul. Prayer will smooth the countenance; it should do so. None will long remain miserable, who use aright the privilege of going to the mercy-seat of a reconciled God in Christ Jesus. (1Sa 1:19-28)
Source: Bible Gateway.com
http://www.biblegateway.com/resources/commentaries/index.php?action=getCommentaryText&cid=26&source=2&seq=i.9.1.2
In Christ,
Blessed Hannah
Never Seen the Righteous Forsaken
Never Seen the Righteous Forsaken
Today, I ponder at the possibilities of a child, I have always thought children were a joy but now I have the urge to hold, comfort and console my own child. I pray that God will make a way because during times like these... recession, job loss, and not enough high paying jobs in my husband and I's area. It does makes us think but we can not think negatively, we must speak life and that is the word of God over our lives. We know that King David said he has never seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread. We know with all of our hearts that God will make a way!
I will begin to study about Hannah and how she wanted a child of her own. I pray that God will grant me a child of my own, even if that child comes through adoption. Some of my friends tell me that I should not worry about a child, but they are not in their early 30's and they have no idea how it feels when your biological clock comes on but you are fighting PCOS,age,and other things the doctors are still puzzled about.
But the thing I love most about these friends...
They told me to be still and know that God will move within his timing, but I must be still and listen to his voice and not go ahead of him. I have always wanted to consider adoption even if I could have my own children. I know that God's little ones are to be protected, and I know that there are Christian women and men who are good husband and wifes within a good solid Christian marriage who would love the chance to care for a child and raise him or her in the admiration of God.
We are waiting!
I am waiting, but each day that I wait, it teaches me to be patient, of course...patience is a virtue! It is hard, but I thank God that I am alive and yes I do know God works in his timing. I just thank God that when that time comes, I will be ready and I will be a good mommy.
In Christ,
Peace, Love, and Blessings!!!!
Blessed Hannah
Today, I ponder at the possibilities of a child, I have always thought children were a joy but now I have the urge to hold, comfort and console my own child. I pray that God will make a way because during times like these... recession, job loss, and not enough high paying jobs in my husband and I's area. It does makes us think but we can not think negatively, we must speak life and that is the word of God over our lives. We know that King David said he has never seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread. We know with all of our hearts that God will make a way!
I will begin to study about Hannah and how she wanted a child of her own. I pray that God will grant me a child of my own, even if that child comes through adoption. Some of my friends tell me that I should not worry about a child, but they are not in their early 30's and they have no idea how it feels when your biological clock comes on but you are fighting PCOS,age,and other things the doctors are still puzzled about.
But the thing I love most about these friends...
They told me to be still and know that God will move within his timing, but I must be still and listen to his voice and not go ahead of him. I have always wanted to consider adoption even if I could have my own children. I know that God's little ones are to be protected, and I know that there are Christian women and men who are good husband and wifes within a good solid Christian marriage who would love the chance to care for a child and raise him or her in the admiration of God.
We are waiting!
I am waiting, but each day that I wait, it teaches me to be patient, of course...patience is a virtue! It is hard, but I thank God that I am alive and yes I do know God works in his timing. I just thank God that when that time comes, I will be ready and I will be a good mommy.
In Christ,
Peace, Love, and Blessings!!!!
Blessed Hannah
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